Happy Anniversary

Five years ago today, at three in the afternoon, I walked down the aisle of St. Camilus Catholic Church to stand at the altar with the wonderful man who was almost my husband. Almost anyone who knew me or knows me was surprised by the fact that I was so emotional that I could hardly speak. Emotional in a good way. I was about to marry the most remarkable person I had ever met.

For anyone who hasn't heard the story, John and I met in the ultimate geek way -- through a long-gone Internet personals site. I was in the last years of my PhD and he was living at home and working as a software engineer to put enough money away to buy a house. I posted a personal, he answered. Less than a week later we met for the first time.

Before I met John, I asked a lot of people "How do you know you've found the right guy?" The answer from most: "You just know." Being a scientist, that answer didn't do much for me. But now I know it's true. By the end of our first meeting I knew I had met someone special. It took only a few more meetings for me to "just know" that John was someone meant to play a special and singular role in my life.

He had all the qualities that I could want: smart, patient, funny, kind, thoughtful. He was the sort of person who could make me think differently about something or see things in a light I had never seen them before. Even more importantly, when I pushed, he pushed back. He gave me the intellectual challenge I needed. To this day I am amazed at the way he can work with people in a way that makes everyone feel like they are winners.

While I see it as a little corny to call him my "soul mate" or to pull words out of Jerry Maguire to say "he completes me", both statements are true. I'm an individual, and I can stand for myself, but John often gives me the love and support to go just one step farther than I thought I could. He suffered with me through my mostly miserable post-doc, encouraged me when I decided to go in for another round of school and get my masters in computer science, and listens patiently when I tell him of my struggles in my current job and company as I learn my new role as a member of my company's management team. He never complains when I buy yarn. No matter how down I get, he can always make me smile. He treats me like an equal partner in all things. For me, it's an incredible thing to be able to think "no matter what happens, we'll be there for each other".

So today I will spend a lot of time remembering back to 5 years ago. I'm going to see myself at that alter, wearing the big white dress standing in front of this fabulous guy who looks so perfect in his tuxedo even in the heat of a Chicago August. If there's one thing in my life that I will never have any regret saying, and would say over again today, it was the two simple words I said five years ago:

"I do"