AWOB
Absent Without Blogging
All I gotta say about this week is who died and made me an adult?
When I was in junior high and high school, I just couldn't wait to be an adult. It looked to me like adults got to run the show. And if you know me, you know that I very much like to run the show. So by that token, it should make sense that being an adult had a great deal of appeal to me.
Which is another way of saying that you should always be careful what you wish for, even if what you are wishing for is inevitable.
In spite of this desire to be an adult, as I grew up, I never really had this perception that I was changing too much. I always felt like me. Sometimes I was a more confident me, sometimes less so. I made good and bad decisions. I had my fair share of things I would do over and things that I impressed myself with. But I never really sat down and thought to myself, "Now I am a responsible adult". Even when John and I bought our house, I was just kind of amazed that I had gotten to the point in my life when I could deal with going into a small room at a title company with a couple of lawyers and some papers from the mortgage company and come out a home owner.
Of course, that said, you don't get to your mid-thirties without having a few life defining experiences. Mine include heading off to Texas for college, a PhD, an ex-fiance, marrying an extraordinary person, working for an extraordinarily awful person and getting a real job.
Lately I've been coming up against life-defining experiences in much more rapid succession than I was expecting. They usually leave my head spinning for a while, and it's hard to knit or blog too much when the world is rotating rapidly around me. The process of getting back to equillibrium requires my full attention and evaluation.
I'll be back in full force next week. After all, I still haven't shown off my favorite Maryland purchases yet...
Those life defining experiences really smack you around the head a lot, don't they? I'm so there at the moment... Take your time, do what you need to do.
Take care. x
I so know what you mean. For the past few weeks I've come face to face with full-on adulthood. And I can't help but think "don't they know they are entrusting all this to an immature adolescent?"
Hang in there!
I recognize a lot of what you just said! Tuesday was my birthday (only 29, so not in any sort of an crisis age), and I've been thinking a lot about being an adult these days. You said it so well, about not much having had the feeling of changing as a person, but instead being more or less confidant...
Good luck with all the experiences you are having right now. I hope at least some of them are good ones. :)
Hope all turns out well.
I read your blog every day without fail..am a quiet commentor..but feel compelled to add my best wishes .. take it one step at a time .. remain true to your heart .. and hope all will be well at week's end.
I understand where you're coming from -- what you don't see as an adolescent are the downsides of the freedom and power: responsibility, drudgery, anxiety, exhaustion, mortality. While I fight adulthood at every turn, even I have discovered some benefits: insight, empathy, wisdom, confidence. Still hate the other stuff though!
Hope everything works out for the best, and that the pressures ease so you can show off your haul soon!
Waves of strength coming to you from blogland and "lurkerland!"
I think we are constantly becoming "adult" until the day we die.
I didn't realize you had a PhD. My hat is off to you! I started one and couldn't take the days and nights alone staring at the computer and wondering what the heck I'd gotten myself into! I stopped with a Master's, but I really admire those who went all the way.
By the way, I love your blog. I have learned a ton from you. Keep up the good work!
...But, going through these crazy weeks/months/years means you are still alive, so I hope you can find time and place to enjoy them!
all those childhoo years of wanting to be a grownup - you never realize how much it can suck. After your life settles down - reserve some time to be a kid again. It'll feel great.
very well said. i hate being an adult! i keep waiting for things to 'stabilize' but they never seem to do that... lately its been one major thing after another! right now i'm dealing with leaving my job, finding a place to live in boston, moving, and starting grad school in the fall!
best of luck with whatever it is!
I hope that the life-defining experiences you are having these days are good ones...