July 4, 2006
New Day
Deep breath. Long pause.
Well, we made it through the first day. While John was having the follow-up surgical care from the nurse, I got a lecture from the opthamologist about his special needs. Forgive me, as someone who has had many years of scientific training, it's always hard for me to remember that the doctor talking to me for the first time doesn't know that. I get a tad peevish, even though I know the doctor has to communicate in a way that makes important instructions very clear. In order for the procedure to be a success, John needs to keep his head in more or less one position for quite some time. I sat there with my sock in my hands, knowing it was important information, but wishing it was delivered in a way that didn't make me feel like a four year old. It seems a little strange to have your husband referred to as "a real trooper." I chalked one up in the "grown up" category by paying attention to what was important, and not letting my ego get the better of me. At least not too much.
All my personal irritation disappeared, however, watching John come out of the outpatient surgical suite with a big patch on his eye. On our way to the hospital I had joked with him a little bit that I could knit him an eye patch. It didn't seem so funny watching him carefully walk out the door or when I had to sign all his release paperwork. When we came in, he was a little nervous about dealing with the first surgical procedure he's ever had in his life. At the end of it, I could feel this little sad feeling from him. It's hard to explain, but it kind of broke my heart. A routine doctor's visit turns into a surgical procedure in 4 days, the surgical procedure happens and the doctor discovers that he needs to do more work that he originally thought, and the surgical procedure comes with the knowledge that if you don't deal patiently with a whole bunch of restrictions, you could have to go through it again, or worse. John is usually quick to try to make other people smile even when he isn't feeling so good. But that part had receeded into the background for a little while as he took in the magnitude of what is/could be ahead.
We got home at about quarter after nine in the morning. The car ride home in the rain seemed to ease the mood a bit. John touched base with some family members to let them know he was okay and my mom made breakfast. Thank goodness for my parents. They had been planning to spend the weekend with us before we found out that John would need to have surgery, and having them here today was a big help. When you live with someone long enough, you forget all the things that they do regularly. John is restricted to pretty much sitting peacefully in one spot for at least the next few days (he has a nice nest of pillows to help him stay in a comfortable positiion and his home theatre to help entertain him). For the sake of our plants and our cats, I hope I can remember to do all the things that our living things need me to do to keep them alive and healthy.
And now the day is pretty much drawing to a close. It's 11:30 PM, July 3rd. We've made it through the first whole day. John's anaesthesia has worn off and he is beginning to feel some discomfort, but we have some reasonable pharmaceuticals to help with the pain management. In spite of that, his sense of humor has in large part returned. I have always admired the deep well of optimism that always seems to get him through tough things. Now we just have to find some way to help him sleep and keep his head the way it should be. My dad, ever the engineer even in retirement, has helped to rig up a clever "head positioning system". And I have my first night ever of sleeping alone when John is in the house. It is the start of what I hope will be a good healing phase. The last 6 months have been tough for us from a health perspective. I'm hoping this signals the beginning of the end of that bad spell.
So I am doing what I always do whenever I have a situation that makes me nervous or unhappy -- I am looking at events beyond in search of happy milestones. In three weeks it will be time to go to Ann Arbor to a little brewfest. In four weeks we'll be seeing Circque do Soleil. In eight weeks we will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary.and sometime in September we are hoping to head back to Hawaii for a restful vacation. Little by little, John's eye will heal and I'll get to share in the joy of watching him get back to feeling better.
Thank you again to everyone who left us a note, shared a story or just thought about us yesterday. It's impossible to really express how much that means to both of us. Please know that we are both deeply touched and deeply grateful. If I could handknit socks for all of you, I most certainly would.
To those of you in the US celebrating the 4th tomorow, may you have a very happy holiday. To everyone else, may you have a most excellent Tuesday. I'm hoping mine will involve giving my WooLee Winder a work out and finding out at John's follow up appointment tomorrow that things are going in the direction they are supposed to go.
T -- my routine visit to an eye doctor resulted in years of surgeries and radiation for retinal melanoma, so I'm VERY glad J's diagnosis was a simple detachment. With luck he'll have a swift and full recovery.
Does he have any swelling? Some people respond well to arnica sublinguals and/or ointment (check with the doc, of course). Gentle massage just above and along the cheekbone, brow, bridge of nose, and temple can help keep the interior ducts draining happily. If there is a watery shimmery cloudiness to his vision when they remove the patch it could be a layer of edema and he should mention it, any flashing lights, specks (stationary or mobile), discomfort, or other anomalies to his doctors. Every eye responds a bit differently to being pestered and the docs have splendid things they can do -- stoicism is completely unnecessary!
If it's his dominant eye the other eye might kick in for a while until the unhappy eye has healed. The brain is spectacular that way, but it also might result in a little double vision or dizziness. Tell the docs but be patient. Playing cards, reading, and doing far and close focus exercises can help. Be careful with sharp knives until the vision normalizes (boy did I learn that lesson!).
When he's ready to move around he'll want to experiment VERY carefully with activities that can change the pressure in his eye. I went too fast and tore the orb. The doctors had no idea I was such an active person so they didn't even think to warn me to be careful.
Short list of activities that can change the pressure in the eye: leaning over, any sudden movement of the head, squatting (keep breathing and go slowly -- do NOT hold breath!), pushing the plunger on a salad spinner (really! another classic breath-holding activity), any kind of bearing down, "oil derrick" moves like putting away laundry or loading a dishwasher, going up stairs, lifting things (keep breathing and start small).
Make sure the healing is complete before riding the subway, especially one like our BART in SF that goes under the Bay. I was able to fly but the subway pressure change was too much. Take speed bumps slowly in a car and go around them on a bicycle. Get cleared by the doc before jumping or running or swimming (pressure pushing up as you lower your body in the water).
Does he have an aluminum cornea replacement plate over his eye? They are inexpensive and larger than standard eye patches -- span the socket rather well. Covered with a bit of flannel they can make a really decent eye protection device for sleeping. It is terribly easy to rub your eye in your sleep, let alone roll onto that side and press it into the pillow since it feels wrong. I slept sitting up for years, with a pile of noise-making stuffed animals on my chest so if I rolled they'd wake me.
Allergan Endura is the nicest heavy-duty lubricating eye drop on the market. It's a cloudy solution so for the first few moments after use vision is obscured, but the stuff works amazingly well. Some eyeballs don't appreciate visiting the doc and beg for drops after. If he gets a scratch during an exam, Endura will work well enough that he won't need as much pain med, if any. Some eyes run a bit dry after being pestered and profit from drops when it's windy out. J might need a darker pair of sunglasses for the rest of summer. Baby that orb!
If you have any questions, email me. Hope this helps J avoid some of the pitfalls that my friends and I have discovered the hard way.
I'm sending healing hopes. The optimism will go a long way toward getting you both through this tough time. I'm glad the procedure went well.
I glad it's going OK so far. It's good that it was caught early, and (hopefully) fixed early.
Glad to hear he came through the sugery well. Just keep still, & keep breathing (apparently).
Have a happy July 4th. We're celebrating our Silver Wedding Anniversary - 25 years In Dependence upon God.
Sounds like this first stage went well, although it's always a bit diappointing to hear there is more to a medical situation than first thought. Hang in there, keep up the knitting. Cirque du Soleil are completely magical.
I'm glad things went okay and hope you get good news today at the follow up appointment. Keep focusing on the positive. Good thoughts are headed your way.
I'm glad that it went well, even if it did end up being more complicated than they'd expected.
I'll be thinking of you both and hoping that the follow-up does go well.
Delurking to send some support your way!
We, too, had a routine doctor appt. become a year-long nightmare. What did we learn? Don't look too far ahead; live one day (or even one hour) for what it is, not what it should be; remind yourself constantly what all the patience and restrictions are accomplishing.
Looking forward to reading positive updates soon!
I'm so glad to hear things went okay. I missed yesterday's post - I so know that whole this is the love of my life and WHAT could happen? feeling. G's had multiple surgeries on pretty much everything and I think it only gets harder, not easier, even though I know the drill. I guess in my mind it's an odds thing.
I hope the recovery goes super quick and everything works out great. Best wishes to all of you!
I'll keep those good thoughts coming and look forward to a positive report at tomorrow's appointment.
I retired from the pharmaceutical field in 1999 and it still bugs me when a new doc tries to talk to me like I am the Neatnik's age.
Sending healing thoughts from Michigan! I hope John's recovery is quick and things return to normal for you both sooner rather than later. And don't forget to take care of *yourself* while taking care of him! :D
It sounds very scary and draining for both of you. It is good that you have support from other family members and from each other right now.
oh we are all thinking good thoughts that he will heal with speed and well!
Here's a big hug for you both. Hang in there, and look forward. Blessings.
Sending hugs and moral support . . .
Much prayer and healing thoughts coming your way!
I'm so glad that John is doing well, after his surgery.
You have to remember to take care of yourself, as well. WooLee will be glad to help you with that!
Fingers crossed that the follow-up is promising.
Happy 4th!
Sending very quick recovery vibes to John from across the pond. I think it's wonderful how you remain optimistic and supportive. Take care, both of you!
xoxo,
Becky
I'm glad to hear that John is on the mend...Michael went through herniated disk surgery on his neck this spring and similarly had to stay put for a little while to aid recovery. Michael's a guy who really doesn't like to sit still for very long, so it was tough on him, and hard for me to see him frustrated.
Take care of both of you!
I'm glad he's doing ok! I lived with a woman who had back surgery and had to do just about everything for her for a while. It's nerve wracking - you don't want to make them feel any more helpless than they already feel, but you don't want anything else bad to happen.bleh!
I know it will be frustrating for your sweetie, but as someone who was not a "good patient" following my eye surgery, please tell him it is well worth the effort to save his vision. I lost some of mine and there's no way to get it back once it is gone.
I know exactly what you mean about getting doctors not to treat one like an idiot child-- I'm a working chemist and I've taught high school biology. I have a little speech prepared about "talk to me like I'm a third-year med school student, and if there's any terminology I don't recognize, I'll stop you."
Keep his head still for 1-3 *weeks*?!? Eeep! Sounds like a bloody bore!
I didn't see these posts till just now, because we've been two days at the Mississippi Palisades state park, in Savanna, IL. (Highly recommended-- only a two and a half hour drive from us in the west suburbs; we plan to go again when the leaves are turning.) Sending prayers and good thoughts.
Thank you so much for the Audrey labels. I'm now thinking of making another Audrey as a gift. You are very generous and I appreciate it. All the best.
So glad to hear John is doing okay. You are going to be a great doctor for him at home. :) I definitely think it was the power of your special socks.
Good thoughts sent your way. I hope John is doing well in his recovery. It sounds pretty scary.
Wow, I'm glad to hear John is doing well. I'm wishing you both the best!
I'm glad to hear that John came through his surgery well, even though the surgery was more involved than originally thought. I hope everything continues to go well. It sounds like he's in good hands though.