Birth Story, The Last Part: Recovery and A Few Comments on Nursing
I'm not going to bore you with the gorey details of my Tuesday through Thursday in the hospital. It was nice to have the baby early in the morning on Tuesday because it meant that I got a little extra hospital time. In spite of what I had previously thought, I wasn't in a desperate rush to get home -- though I was in a rush to get my IV removed. After delivery, I had to spend the next 24 hours on the magnesium sulfate. This means getting monitored for blood pressure, temperature and vitals every hour. And being on an IV makes a lot of basic things (like using the bathroom) that are already hard when you have just given birth, even harder. It also meant that I didn't get a shower until I got rid of my IV line. So I wasn't entirely happy about that. But since it wasn't an optional step, I pulled my laptop up to my bed and enjoyed the wireless internet. And the afternoon dessert cart. There are definitely a few nice perks about convalescing at Prentice.
(As an aside, I can heartily recommend Prentice. I received exceptional care from both the doctors and nurses that I had and had access to a great and helpful lactation consultant. I hate hospitals but I can't say enough about how well treated and cared for I was while we were at Prentice.)
Most of the rest of the hospital stay is about getting to know your baby, and getting a little healing on in that place we all like to sit on! We kept Zosia in the room with us most of the time, though in the first day, she took regular trips to the nursery to have her blood sugar checked. It's not a whole lot of fun to have your baby taken away when you know she's going to get poked and bled -- and knowing that the results of this process could mean that she might get an extended stay away from you in the special care nursery. This process put a lot of focus on the issue of feeding. While I had started to try to nurse, if her sugar came back low, there was a policy of feeding some formula to help it start to level out. Since I wanted to nurse Zosia myself, I had a significant fear that the formula feedings might make her a bit breast-averse.
I haven't been a nursing mom for very long, but I want to take a few minutes to get on my soap box about the whole breast feeding versus formula feeding issue. I got a few emails concerned about my choices for Z in the hospital. I've had a number of friends have babies, and every one of them has had a different situation and a different story about what worked well for them. Let me just take a moment to say that the ability to breast feed or feed your baby breast milk, even, is a gift. Not all of us or all of our babies are equally gifted in this area. And sometimes we have to make decisions that are in the best interest of the baby no matter what we most want or think is the "right way". As my pediatrician wisely said, "the goal is not to breastfeed, to goal is to make sure the baby has the nutrition she needs to thrive." He was not trying to dismiss the importance of breast feeding or breast milk. But he was trying to say that a well fed baby is more important than sticking to rigid principle.
I was incredibly lucky -- the lactation consultant watched Zosia and commented that she saw full term babies that didn't have her latching instincts. And I insisted on avoiding a bottle like the plague. But like most new moms, the process of getting used to breast feeding was difficult for me -- after the first day I was in a lot of pain and I had a baby who was latching on like a vacuum cleaner, but who clearly wasn't getting enough to eat given how long it was taking her. After a night of utter exhaustion because of a cranky hungry baby, and breasts that felt tortured, when I finally got her to sleep, briefly, we asked the nurse to take her to the nursery. My heart just about broke into pieces as the nurse wheeled her cradle out and she looked back at me with big open eyes as if to say "Mom, why are you sending me away?" That kicked off my first post-delivery crying jag (it still gets to me when I think about it even now). Now instead of helping to settle down a baby, John had to console me.
But a few hours without her in the room and a little bit more sleep brought something into sharp focus: I was riveting on the process of breast feeding and not on the process of making sure that my baby was well fed and that I was happy as well. I knew I needed for my own mental state to be good or I certainly wouldn't be able to care for my butterfly the way I wanted to. I talked with both my nurse and the lactation consultant for a second time about how to make sure both were accomplished. In the end, we decided to try the SNS system -- this allowed me to give her some extra formula, but have her take it while she was nursing (they run a tiny tube off the end of your nipple) so she didn't lose the rhythm of breast feeding. It worked like a charm and made all the difference while we waited for my milk to come in (it showed up on Friday like gangbusters). Mom and baby were both happy and the pediatrician visit on Friday morning showed that she had started to gain weight again. A victory all around!
Now that I've had my baby, a couple of people asked me what I found essential in the hospital. Actually, very little. Prentice pretty much provides everything you need, barring the delivery deep dish pizza that we ordered. The only things that I would say were absolutely necessary were pillows from home, my own toiletries for when I did get to take a shower, and a patient and caring partner (John remains my hero for so many reasons). After that, a geek girl like me really dug having her computer and her phone. I really didn't get a chance to knit much, only read a few pages in the book I brought. I just enjoyed the time with my husband and my baby.
Things that surprised me most about the whole experience? After birth, I looked about 8 months pregnant. Today, I still look like I'm early 2nd trimester. And I didn't see any real change in my weight until Friday or Saturday. Next, let's just say when it comes to the the feeding apparatus, I thought they were large before birth. Now they are even more substantial. Even the husband is a bit surprised. Third, I don't mind changing diapers. And finally, how happy and peaceful I still feel. I thought a crying baby would make me crazy, but instead, I look at it as a change to understand what makes her work and what she needs. She has one particular wail that sounds, well, otherworldly in a not very pleasant way. But the more we learn about her, the less we hear any kind of unhappiness at all. In fact, she's incredibly peaceful, and we've been getting 4-8 hours of solid sleep time from her at night -- I guess that counts as a big surprise, too!
I'll close the baby posts for a while with something that features both the baby and a some special knitting.
That lovely cabled blanket was made by my dear friend Judy (the one I knit the log cabin blanket for) out of Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino. The purple was to match the theme of her room. It was the first non-hospital blanket that Zosia came in contact with and it was a perfect snuggly blankie for her trip home. Oh so soft for being against baby skin. Note the little foot peeking out of the blanket -- she's already taking after her dad! When we took her to her first pediatrician visit on Friday (she had some jaundice issues we had to keep an eye on) even he commented on how lovely it was. Z is a lucky baby to have such a special blanket to snuggle under!
She is so very beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story with us, it was awesome.
Ah yes, I remember those voluptuous boobs! Don't worry, they don't stay that way for long. And I never minded diapers either; maybe that makes us weird! LOL! I just found it satisfying to get the little one all fresh and cleaned up again. And what long lovely fingers Baby Z has!
Oh my gosh, the milk coming in, yowza:) I know full well that torment of the first few days trying to feed, augh, but it gets better pretty quick if you and baby are good and lucky! I'm extremely glad I can do that for my daughter, for all the benefits it gives her. I hope you continue to have as good an experience!
That picture is too cute. :)
She takes after her mother as well as her dad - where else do you think she got the good looks from ;-)
I'm so glad you have spoken up about the breast feeding issue. when I had my children I was made to feel like a failure because I was unable to breast feed successfully - as you say the whole idea is to make sure that you have a happy and well fed baby and if that means adding in a little formula, so be it :-)
Thank you so much for sharing your birth story. So much of it resonated with me, even 3+ years after the fact.
Best wishes to your newly expanded family! :)
Thank you for sharing all of that with us. It sounds as though you're going about all this the best way possible ... with an eye to what works for you, your baby, and your family. The rest of us can chime in with advice and let you know what worked for us, but ultimately you know your baby and your situation best.
I'm glad baby Z is being so kind to you re: sleep! That's an incredible gift.
What a wonderful story, and beautiful baby! Congratulations!!
Formula isn't bad. Unless the little one has two clever older siblings and a balcony where you can play "bottle dripping"... My mom was not exactly pleased when we came up with that one.
I am so glad you have such a logical perspective on feeding! I was so gripped by hormones I don't think I had a logical perspective until the kids were about 2 years old....hopefully most mammas are not as crazy as me.
I do remember my kids breastfeeding for about 45 minutes to an hour at a time for the first month or so. But the time I changed them they were nearly ready to go again! I had no idea if that was normal or not. And I remember my breasts being BIGGER than the baby's head and thinking it must be terrifying for that huge thing to be coming right at you....attack of the monster mammaries!
Keep that logical perspective--you sound great.
Huge feeding apparti, only happened with the first baby for me, next baby it was like they knew what they were doing & didn't overproduce. I've had friends use the SNS system & it worked great for them.
What a great perspective you have. Your little girl is indeed beautiful -- I love baby feet! Thanks for sharing such a great story.
thanks for your thoughts on breastfeeding. i have 3 month old twins born at 36 weeks. they were healthy and lovely, and i was determined to do breast. i did, for about 8 weeks. i was such a hard thing to stop but i could not keep up the pump/provide schedule. i feel good that i had at least the time i did, but it made me realize that we have to see what our babies need and not focus on what we think/have been told about the whole mama thing. the great thing was when i needed help with weaning the lactation ladies were supportive and understanding...they even gave me a certificate. looks like you and zosia are doing great!
I must admit I haven't read your blog in a while so have missed the baby excitement. I just happened upon it today and when I saw the name Zosia, I thought...awww...sweet Polish baby.
Congrats on your new bundle of joy! She's a beauty. :)
what a beautiful story! you had the birth i wanted, i got the alternative that they thought you would have, worsening pre-e, heavy mag sulfate side effects and then c-section (and mag for two more days... ugh). but we're all healthy now so whatever! :) i'm glad you were able to get around some feeding issues and now all is well. congrats again! and beautiful blankey!
Everyone will think they know what is right for you and your baby, just because it was right for them. But remember- you know your baby best, trust your instinct. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story.
this post sure brought back memories of my oldest when she was born and my determination to nurse her. you hit the nail on the head when you said that the ability to nurse is a gift, and each mom and babe is different.
The first hope is for healthy momma, healthy baby, then the second is happy momma, happy baby. Whatever it takes to obtain these, IMHO, is the 'right' thing to do. Everything else is gravy!
Due to issues such as: my milk not coming in for 8 days, me being on antibiotics for almost a month for a post-delivery infection, baby latching issues, my son was not strictly breastfed until he was 2 months old. There were many failed nursing attempts, many ounces of formula, even a couple trips to a pediatric chiropractor before everything came together. But when it did--magic!
She's a beautiful girl - thanks for sharing your story.
Congrats again. So glad everything turned out well.
Yay T! Yay Z! Yay to hero John! And yay to new and improved ways to help moms make sure their babies are happy and well-fed.
So now another bit of unsolicited advice--be sure to always keep an extra shirt or two with you (in the diaper bag or the car or both). Even if you're using breast pads, inevitably, things will leak through at exactly the worst time.
Have you tried your dad's rocking chair for nursing? I'd love to see a picture of you and Z in the chair if it works out and you feel up for a picture.
Congrats again!
Thanks so much for sharing so much of your story - as someone who doesn't have kids yet, it's nice to hear a little bit about other people's experiences. Congrats again!
Baby & blanket both beautiful! I suspect that the reason you don't mind changing diapers is that you are breastfeeding. Breast fed babies have poop that is almost odorless. Even after they start on solids, it smells less bad than bottle fed babies' poop. I have a nephew 4 months older than my older daughter. I remember going somewhere with my sister once & I had to change his diaper when he had a huge load. I kept gagging - I really thought I was going to vomit the stench was so bad. My daughter who was about 16 months old at the time never had any diaper smell that bad.
You guys have a beautiful baby there! The best wishes to you, Z! And thanks for sharing the birthing story!
Ah yes. The sometimes not so helpful well-meaning advice/instructions people like to give about what to do with babies and children. It seems you have already figured out the secret: You and your baby are unique and both of your well-being is the only important goal.
That's a gorgeous picture of your hands.
BUT...8 hours of sleep from a baby that's 10 days old?!!!
Oh, god, do you mean a TOTAL of 8 hours? LOL. At least, I hope that's what you mean! My youngest hasn't slept well the past couple of days, I'm a little brain-challenged today (I just erased my rant about too long sleep periods. I know you're smart and wouldn't let her go 8 hours without nursing. It's me that's not too smart!).
I'm all for our provincial, universal health care, but a dessert cart? Really? My SIL had room-service food, 24 hrs/day. I got a soggy, left over sandwich from the vending machine after my son was born.
wow, she's just lovely, and look at those long fingers - she's gonna have it easy in piano class. congratulations, and thanks for sharing your story.
Baby Z looks so content and full size even though she was a little early. I'm in the process of learning about babies and equipment and different issues as I'm starting my 6th month of pregnancy. It is so helpful to hear different perspectives of this whole baby adventure. Thanks for sharing.
I loved the longer hospital stay too! My son was born at 6am so we had all day Sunday and Monday plus Tuesday morning. Going to the nursery is hard, but you needed the sleep! It was the right choice.
Good luck with your current feeding routine. Sounds like you guys are going to go great!
Congratulations for learning the most important lesson-you and your new family are one of a kind and will find your way. Nursing or not, happy healthy babies are our goal. She is lovely. It made me remember one of my favorite times after my girls were born, the 2 o'clock feeding. I know that sounds crazy but looking at that darling little face while she nursed in the glow of a night light is a memory I cherish. It was like we were the only two people in the world. Enjoy this time, it passes so quickly.
I wish I had stayed in the hospital longer. My milk never came in, so my poor jaundiced baby wasn't getting fed and wasn't getting better, but I didn't know better myself. Maybe an extra day would have tipped someone off. I also used the SNS system for 12 days. I ended up switching to regular bottles after that, but I did enjoy the bonding that I had for the first few days.
You have a beautiful baby.
I just wanted to come out and say you are totally right on the breastfeeding thing! We used the SNS for the first two weeks or so because after Robby was born, I had NOTHING, no colostrum or anything, after a week, it finally came in, and then it took another week for my milk to come in. In the beginning, I was anal about breastfeeding Robby, and I got so focused on it that I lost some of the joy that comes in nourishing your baby. Eventually, we worked all the kinks out and are breastfeeding to this day, at 7.5 months, so it does get better! And for the weight thing, I had the same experience, but after about 2 months, if you keep breastfeeding, the weight will just come off like crazy! And 4-8 hours of sleep a night?!!! That's crazy, I still don't get that, congrats on that too! Congratulations on your new baby girl, it's been wonderful following your progress.
I enjoyed reading all your entries about the new baby! I'll be looking for more updates :) I have like 4 or 5 weeks left, yikes!
Hooray for you and taking a stand on doing what is best for everyone around you, you included. I was very insistent on nursing my son and had inverted nipples and spent a lot of time in toe-curling pain and he was underweight and for awhile it just wasn't working. But I was so damned stubborn I could not see the forest for the trees, as they say. He's fine now, but we could have all been a lot happier had I taken another route. I am happy that we got through it and I was able to nurse our daughter with a lot more ease (thanks for pulling out those nipples permanently, son!). But I never ever would judge someone for feeding their child. It's just a choice--it's not a hobby or a damned lifestyle. ('scuse me for cursing so much!)
Glad you found what works for you. As I said before, most advice is bull-just go with your instincts and life has a way of working out. While breastfeeding is great(I did it with 3 kids),making sure Zosia is well nourished is the most important factor. Just enjoy-I found the LaLeche people a little over the top sometimes-almost militant. Just smile, nod and then do whatever works best for you and the baby.
Congratulations on getting the breast feeding thing working. Even just a couple of weeks is a huge boost and gift to your baby. I don't remember any issues, except the kid always was hungry the first couple days (must've been little milk?). So the first day or two at home I just walked around with my flannel shirt, braless and half the time wide open. Felt a bit like the dairy bar but didn't care. Yeah, shocking that you don't get rid of all that weight right away huh? I remember watching them wheel in my roommate and wondering why she (who I thought was still pregnant) was in this particular room! Kiddo slept with me so night feeding was super easy, though I did wake up one morning with a miniscule hicky on my breast, he'd latched on to something (skin) but it wasn't a nipple! I was the human pacifier! Oh, and boobalas? Went from DD to I (egad!, I ended up with some bras from Decent Exposures which worked great for nursing).
aww shes so small and beautiful, really precious!!!
the weight thing....your snapping back because your feeding her yourself, gotta love mother nature, I was slimmest when feeding yet had HUGE boobs LOL!!!
She will get quicker feeding, my eldest did but when they are early they do take longer to get what they need, your doing really well though keep at it xxxx Feeding is such a special feeling isnt it
Glad to hear your nursing is going well! After my first, I realized that more of my friends from Lamaze had trouble than didn't, which surprised me. I was very lucky to have great success both times. Although I was terribly engorged there for a bit the second time around! But the process is so worth it and it only gets better from here, promise. When she's six weeks, you will both be totally at ease, totally balanced, all will be well. And then she'll have a growth spurt!!
after 11 yrs of babies, pregnancy, breastfeeding. i was so excited to announce i no longer needed nursing bras. and will get to buy regular ones again.
stress, anemia, and lack of sleep can cause mastitis, so be sure to rest! sleep when you can, when she is, etc...
GAS DROPS are essential to breastfeeding, b/c we will forget and eat a cucumber in the salad, or broccoli casseroles are delivered by well meaning friends, and orange juice...mmm, yummy juice! so in order to not have a colicy baby, be sure to get gas drops or the homeopathic colic tablets.
:-) oh, and the womanly art of breastfeeding book has some good stuff in it.
Thanks for sharing your birthing story. I'm so glad everything went well.
just got back and saw that you had the baby. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! she's sooooo beautiful!
I am a parent by marriage and by adoption, so the "gory" details are a little bit foreign to me. However, the emotions I felt when our 8 month old daughter was first handed to us are really no different than those that you feel for your daughter.
It's a wonderful feeling!
HOORAY! It's so great to read your birth story (I never did quite finish mine!). I'm glad that the recovery at hospital was peaceful, and that the feeding is going okay... we had kind of the opposite problem, I made lots of milk but didn't have a little sucker. We used SNS for days, taped to the tip of our finger, and had to tap his hard palate with it until he learned to suck! I was really pleased by the nurses too and their willingness to get creative on the breastfeeding. Keep enjoying your little girl, and do call if there's anything we can do for you in the next few weeks. I can't wait to meet her in person!
Little Z is such a cutie! It's nice that once the initial discomfort is over (I was in pain for about a week or so) nursing is such a breeze. It varies for everyone, of course, but I'm glad everything is going well for you now!
Thank you for sharing your story. I've learnt alot about the process. Happy baby enjoyment!
I'm a medical technologist with a similar story. My middle son was induced 4.5 weeks early due to my HELLP (hemolysis, elevated liver, low platelets) Syndrome. It was discovered at a routine appt. when my blood pressure was sky high. I expected bed rest, I got a new baby instead! Good luck - she's beautiful!
congratulations on your beautiful arrival. wow. she is gorgeous....you have so many beautiful years ahead - it gives me a smile just to think of it :-)
Glad you are both doing well.