Dance Dance Revolution, Baby
And you thought that you could only play those dancing games with a game console and a dance pad. Au contraire says my Z Baby. Come 5 to 7 pm every day now*, she has come up with an alternate way to play -- Dance, Dance Revolution Baby Style.
First of all, Mommy, get some comfy dancing clothes. Nothing too warm, since we're going to get sweaty. After that, it's time to strap on the Baby Bjorn** and put me in it. OK! Now I'm ready. Next, load up iTunes and queue up some music. You know how I love that Erasure greatest hits album***. Now it's time to dance, Mommy. Dance, Mommy, Dance! Here's how I'm going to let you know if you're getting the steps right.
If you're failing to hit those beats on the current tune, be prepared to see this:
If you're getting most of it right, but not quite hitting those beats like you should, I'll let you know by giving you this look:
If you're doing really well, hitting most of those beats, I'll give you this sign:
And if you really nail those beats, the game ends and you get the big prize:
Ready, Mommy? Let's go! 1...2...3... Dance!
* It's the subject of some debate as to whether Ms. Z is colicky or not. My mother in law thinks she is (based on two babysitting sessions that happen to occur during her regular fussy phase). I think she just has a more active phase of the day (some days she will go with almost no sleep between 5 and midnight -- although this behavior is not consistent... some days she sleeps on a very regular schedule) and that she gets bored and/or over-tired and then starts to fuss, as her crying can be ameliorated by walking around with her. I will admit that she definitely has her moments -- Z is not one of those completely peaceful babies who spends all her waking time cooing happily -- but she doesn't cry for three hours straight for no reason, either. Maybe I just don't want to give her a label that suggests "problem baby" so that I (and others) won't start to think about her that way. I like to think she's just a very interactive baby with a way too active brain that needs constant stimulation, but that can't quite handle all the stimulation that it wants.
** The Baby Bjorn is a gift from the gods right now. It is the Z baby's favorite mode of conveyance and one of the only ways to calm her when she hits her fussy period.
*** You can all laugh, but whenever John and I turn on the 80's dance music, this kid stops what she's doing and pays attention. They say babies' musical tastes are influenced by what they heard while they were in the womb... poor Zosia. All that blast from the past music her mother likes is going to be stuck with her forever. At least I got some Scissor Sisters in there to balance it out.
A friend's baby would, at one time, only stop crying if AC/DC were on. My hand to God. They are funny little people, aren't they? :-)
It really doesn't matter if it's colick or not, does it? You've found a way to comfort her and that's what matters. Hannah had her moments during the first 6-8 weeks or so but then they get bigger and it passes. Do you keep any sort of food diary? I found that what I ate really affected her a lot when she was that small.
You have a baby who is completely normal. They all go through a fussy phase at that age. & each age susequently.
Fortunate parents may find their babies settle to a compliant day/night routine within three months. The rest of us learn to get by. Just remember that, while total flexibility & response to her moods is good (up to a point), she'll have to learn to fit into others' routines eventually, so she may as well start learning young!
She looks gorgeous too.
My daughter was very similar to Z, in that she had fussy periods. She wasn't colicky in the classic sense, but had periods, usually in the evening, where she wasn't happy.
We had great luck with a bouncy seat, metal frame covered with fabric, that we put on the floor and bounced gently. With a little practice we found the bounce rate that kept her content. I think the bounce provided enough distraction to keep her occupied, but didn't add to the overload.
Today we take that baby to college, so it's interesting to look back.
Sounds normal to me! in fact, I think i have a fussy time between 5-7--that is why its cocktail hour!
My kids did that too and it was not colic. Its like...all the tension from the whole day builds up and has to be cried out at that time. Some moms call it The Witching Hour. If it was colic she would be arching her back and screeching in pain for a few hours, and that does not seem like the case.
I love what you say about LABELS. If you label her as a problem you will think of her that way--I agree! and what a logical way to say it. Your hunch is correct--she is an intelligent, active person trapped in an infants body, and she is frustrated sometimes. My oldest was fussy until he walked, which was WAY EARLY. He needed to move and be stimulated by his world. I'd say Z has a similar thing going on in her head too.
Keep your morale up!
I don't usually comment, but I had to share that I had a roommate once who babysat a kid who would only stop crying and go to sleep if someone sang "Hey, Big Spender."
When my daughter was that age and got fussy, the Snuggli front pack was wonderful, We found that sitting in the rocking chair with her in the snuggli helped to soothe her.
I am glad you found a solution that works for you and Z.
I do not think Z is colicky. If she were it would be a heck of a lot more crying than the two-three hours you are currently getting. It's just her fussy time. They all have them. Try reading this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying-Longer/dp/B0006J021C/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-4238198-7970062?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1188562048&sr=8-1
It is full of tips and tricks to help out. Others also find that putting the baby in the stroller or going for a car ride help. Good luck! :)
a-ha the fussy evenings. classic baby stuff (not trying to make light) my son cried every night from 8-9pm from the time he was 2-4 months.
i used to just carry him facing out on my arm (the only thing that worked) and knew that it was 8pm.
don't know if you are b/feeding or not (i just recently re-found your blog) but hormone levels are lower at night which is why some feel that babies cry then.
you've found what works--and that is great!
Z is fabulous, expressive and interacting. You are tuning in to her messages just fine. dance momma dance.
80s music? my girls grew up thinking "classic music" meant the Beach Boys, and they're still good with that into their 20s. Music smoosic, dance momma dance. and of course, sleep on dad.
My Miss Rose was similar -- I thought of her as 'high maintenance' as she needed dancing, walking, bouncing, vibrating, being held in certain ways to be happy. And yes, we had "The Witching Hour" at our house -- she got snarky in the late pm and one had better pay attention to her needs. Once she found her thumb at two months of age, she was happier (plus crying peaks for all babies at about 6-8 weeks, so it gets better from there anyway). And once she could manipulate things in her environment, she was MUCH happier -- 4-6 months and then crawling. She is now a lovely, extroverted, very intelligent preteen, about to celebrate her 12th birthday on Tuesday, and is still kinda 'high maintenance' in that she feels things intensely and is more emotional than my second daughter (who actually would sit happily in her infant seat for more than two minutes, unlike Rose!). Rose also preferred her tummy strongly, which induced paranoia and guilt for me. I figured though that on our chests, she was OK.
She liked the 'colic carry' (she was not colicky as such, though, just had strong opinions)-- carrying on tummy with baby head in hand and legs spraddled over the elbow area) -- I think because she could see her environment but had that movement thing happening. Her favorite music was Aerosmith & Tom Waits, and -- yes, AC/DC!
I'm thinking Z is a bright and interactive little one who can't tell you what she wants yet, and gets frustrated, and who's right on schedule for her crying peak, but this too shall pass. Unfortunately, we're hard-wired to be distressed when our (or any, but especially our) baby cries. Wah!
Its normal we called it unhappy hour and it hit from 5-8 pm. I think giving it a name (colic) makes it scary!
Z is a beautiful baby. I love her expressions! You sound like you are doing a great job as a mom (& dad, too).
You know I had the same hesitance to call E colicky. 6 years later who knows, and it doesn't matter anymore. What works is what works! And now E loves 70's 80's and current music -- our iPod playlists are quite eclectic! Baby Z is so cute!
Your post is so timely for me this morning, Theresa. Today my son goes back to college for his senior year and I am feeling a bit blue. It has been a wonderful summer having him home, but now it's time for him to hit the road! Your post reminds me so of when Matt was an infant and would fuss around the dinner hour(s)!! His personal favorite was Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band!! I understand that he has it on his IPod. I guess there is something to be said about that 80's beat. Seems to me that your sweet baby is perfectly normal; my nephew had colic and boy that scream was unmistakable. Enjoy the dance, Theresa. The memory will remain crisp and clear always.
Your post is so timely for me this morning, Theresa. Today my son goes back to college for his senior year and I am feeling a bit blue. It has been a wonderful summer having him home, but now it's time for him to hit the road! Your post reminds me so of when Matt was an infant and would fuss around the dinner hour(s)!! His personal favorite was Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band!! I understand that he has it on his IPod. I guess there is something to be said about that 80's beat. Seems to me that your sweet baby is perfectly normal; my nephew had colic and boy that scream was unmistakable. Enjoy the dance, Theresa. The memory will remain crisp and clear always.
Sounds like the equivalent of our "power hour" ... Luke hits that period around the same time EST. His musical preference is Rush, and he is currently quite attached to their latest album, LOL.
Yesterday he power-nursed for three hours. Every 15 minutes. He pooped like crazy, burped like a champ and cleared out his system. I thought we were going to have a rough night ... but then he surprised me by sleeping from 11:45 until 4:45 -- and even then just wanted a "snack" to tide him over until 8 a.m.!
I knew there would be a use for "Thriller" again.
;-)
With my short person, just about any music would calm him. Some. But for whatever odd reason, he seems to really like flute music.
Three of my four children had "fussy periods", but I can tell you, child number one, most definitely had colic (the other two, not so much - just a "fussy period")
Colic, the real variety, is a nightmare. I swear - when the dear daughter turned 8 weeks old it started, and it lasted until she was about 18 weeks old.
You could tell the time by when it started (7PM every night) and the screaming lasted until 4AM) SO yes, between 7 PM and 4 AM, we were walking, riding, dancing, showering (this really helps!) and yes at some times, trying to block out the screaming because we were all so exhausted.
the fastest way to calm my brother's fussy baby (#2) down was to put on prince (!!). you would literally see a wave of placidness come over him and then his arms would just lightly twitch in time to the beat while all his fussying just went away. (he wasn't a cryer just had this sort of fussy whining thing he did.)
a "little red corvette" or "raspberry beret" and he was happy as a clam.
It'll sound twisted but enjoy it while it lasts. Mine are 8 and 11 and nobody will dance with me anymore. *SIGH*
I love the thoughtful baby look. Enjoy the dance fever!
Have you considered that she might have allergies?
My first son was also almost-colicky, and I figured out something was going on after I went off dairy for a few days, then had a pasta dinner with tons of cheese on top. I totally went off dairy with my second son, and he was the calmest, happiest baby on the block. (Kid #1 vomited and got hives when I actually fed him yogurt directly -- he did have a very serious dairy allergy, that he's finally outgrowing.)
See the Kellymom website for more info:
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/food-sensitivity.html
I don't know what I would have done without a Baby Bjorn, actually 2 because the first one was worn out after two children and I had to get a new one for my third. I am glad it works well for you, too.
She sounds just like my daughter! It doesn't sound colicky at all. If you can soothe her, it's not colic. Some babes just need more effort to soothe them. You're lucky dancing works! We used to swaddle and shh. That helped us. Thanks for all the gratuitous baby pics :)
Also - our shorthand for Rose at periods like this was "OT/OS" -- OverTired/OverStimulated. Hard to tell which it was but the same things worked! And, our lifesaver when our arms were exhausted was what my husband called the Baby Barcalounger -- a vibrating infant seat, by Gerry, I think. I scoffed (silently) when my grandmother gave it to me at the baby shower, but it was WONDERFUL! She loved it! And the baby swing when she was old enough (not yet). There's nothing like dancing with your daddy (or mommy), though.
one of my boys loved listening to the adicts. punk rock at 4 weeks old. now we have mellowed it out to andre segovia, but i am thinking the 80s tunes might be really fun. love the facial expressions, what a great face she has.
I think all babies have fussy periods, and what you call it is irrelevant. I had one who screamed non-stop from 7-10 pm every evening for three months. I had another who rarely cried or fussed at all. They're both perfectly normal, happy kids now. The trick is finding ways to get yourself through the hard times.
One of my favorite things about having babies was that I could sing and dance my way through public places without concern for what people might think of me. Everything else pales in comparison to keeping a baby happy!
oh geez i love this entry!
the music references, the baby pictures, the picture of a knocked out daddy and baby Z...
and yes, the baby bjorns are amazing aren't they? have you tried omd, a-ha, and duran duran or tears for fears yet?! :o)heehee!
the 80s era of music has a special place in my heart... i'm glad that baby Z is appreciating the fun music early on! have a great weekend! ek.
We've been hitting that 7-9 screaming period in the last two weeks too, but I just read a book and the methods work like magic!!
"Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp.
He basicly has a 5 point theory
Swaddling
Side (or not on their back)
Shhhing (white noise)
Swinging (movement, dancing)
Sucking (breast, finger or paci)
Really it's all the things mothers and grandmothers do anyway, but he says do it all together and with vigor, shhhh as loud as the crying, and dance as fast, and keep it all up until the baby settles. It's all based on recreating the womb enviroment for the "4th trimester"
No labels needed... she's an alert, interactive, normal (!), gorgeous baby who is learning to trust that you will be there when she needs you. Great photos!
Mine was fussy between 5-7 on a regular basis too, and still is occasionally. He did not have colick. He just needed some extra movement, and walking with him consoled him. He was perfectly content walking back and forth and he would stop fussing (colicky babies usually can NOT be consoled, so I don't think it was that). I think he was bored and wanted some activity. I'm sure your Ms. Z is the same...she just wants some activity. It's good for you too. You get an extra chance at bonding and some exercise! :) Congrats on the baby!
My oldest is nearly eight and to this day her favorite album is Queen's Greatest Hits.
"we will, we will rock you!"
Oh, I feel for you. My oldest never slept more than 2-3 straight hours the first 3 months of his life. When he wasn't asleep, he was crying. Completely draining. Car rides didn't help, but running the hair dryer was usually effective (not on him, of course, just as background white noise).
What I was told is that 5-8 pm is the time of day when your breast milk is the least satisfying. So they get fussy and have trouble falling asleep then (or letting mommy eat dinner, etc.). It is also a good idea not to pump at that time of day as you will be storing "skim." All babies fuss it the early evening, IMO. The colicky ones keep going after that...They also have what I call an "altimeter" and can tell if they are not at least 4 feet off the ground. Hence not being able to sit down in the evenings either.
It does pass, but everything she's doing is totally normal!!
Those are some hilarious pictures! My kid was like yours is... hours of fussy periods vs full tilt terror for hours and hours and hours. Dance! (step-pause-pat-grunt to the beat!) I haven't heard the new soundtrack, but the original soundtrack to Hairspray was good for this kind of thing.
My daughter used to go through crying jags in the early/mid evenings. The soundtrack to The Full Monty played *really* loudly while I "danced" worked wonders for her.
I've heard it's very normal for babies about that age to have a hard time in the evenings. I think my daughter would get over-tired and just not know how to get herself to sleep. She had a hard time sleeping for the first few months, but after that was mostly a good night sleep. Since she's been a little over a year she's been a great sleeper. There's light!
Theresa, you've gotten many comments about this, and I didn't read them all, but I'll put in my mommy two cents worth as well. Neither of my babies (now 10 and 14 -- yeesh!) were what you would call colicky. But both absolutely fell apart between 4 and 7 every day. Just when I was at my tiredest and worst at the end of the work day and when I was trying to get dinner together. Both required us to walk a figure eight around the dining room and living room for 3 solid hours in the early evening from when they were about 2 months old until about 5 1/2 months or so. T. Barry Brazelton talked in his books about baby brains processing the day or re-organizing or something. Whatever it was, they certainly slept at night and were happy, contented kids otherwise.
Sounds like you're working the problem and ... really ... this too shall pass.
Looking back on it, I almost remember it fondly. Time with little ones goes really fast. Z is absolutely beautiful and I'm glad you have a sleeping on a sleeping daddy picture -- every baby should have several of those.
If her crying can be ameliorated by walking around with her, she's not colicky - just fussy for some baby reason. My younger daughter was colicky & she screamed for 3 hours every night no matter what we did. It was very painful - the instinct to soothe a baby is so strong & not being able to do anything is torture (not to mention the aching ears!). It started when she was 3 weeks old & ended when she was 3 months old (just as the doctor predicted - apparently the fact that it started at age 3 weeks was one of the reasons he was so sure it was colic) Other than that period, she was the easiest, sweetest baby on earth - slept 12 hours at night & took 2 naps - 1½ - 2 hours in the am & 2-3 hours in the pm. 31 years later she is still a sweet person!
Oh Theresa... the miles I have danced! I still can't just stand still when I hold a baby - always need to rock and bounce.
My #2 loved "Itsy Bitsy Spider" If we sang it he would quiet; if we stopped he would scream; if we started again he would stop right away; if we switched songs he would scream. Crazy.
has any one mentioned highland's homepathic colic tablets? they dislove in the mouth. their teeething tablets also rock.
with the first baby, who was soo clicy, the dr had told me to drink calcium OJ cuz i was lactose intolerant, THIS IS BAD. especially if you are breastfeeding. along with cucumbers, broccoli, beans, citrus should also be avoided the first 3 mons. we also learned a baby massage technigue to "walk " out the gas bubbles... walk you fingers from right hip to left UNDER belly button and left to right OVER belly button.
and colicy baby #1 loved to dance to swing music.
this last baby nothing helped once evening hit. she was delightful all day and screamed from 5-8pm every night, no matter what i ate, did,danced. it was horrid! so fingers crossed that z is more like one than 6 :-)
has any one mentioned highland's homepathic colic tablets? they dislove in the mouth. their teething tablets also rock.
with the first baby, who was soo clicy, the dr had told me to drink calcium OJ cuz i was lactose intolerant, THIS IS BAD. especially if you are breastfeeding. along with cucumbers, broccoli, beans, citrus should also be avoided the first 3 mons. we also learned a baby massage technigue to "walk " out the gas bubbles... walk you fingers from right hip to left UNDER belly button and left to right OVER belly button.
and colicy baby #1 loved to dance to swing music.
this last baby nothing helped once evening hit. she was delightful all day and screamed from 5-8pm every night, no matter what i ate, did,danced. it was horrid! so fingers crossed that z is more like one than 6 :-)
Big ol fussy evenings led me to put my son down for the night at 6pm. :) Gradually we worked it back to 7:30, but he and his sister still go to bed at 7:30 every night. Maybe when he starts elementary school, we will push it back to 8, but for now I am really happy they are in bed so early. They get more sleep and I get more rest.
Yeah, I think you have it figured out. Babies just need some time to figure everything out. How else can you explain that astonished look they have for about the first 5 months? :-)
OH! What fabulous pix of the babe! Zosia Postulates! OMG!
Love the dance party --
I definately do NOT think she is colicky! I hate that term; just means "She's crying and we don't know why". If it's only happening for two hours, and you know what she needs, it's probably not reflux or related to something you're eating (unless you eat the exact same thing mid-afternoon everyday and NEVER any other time!). There is research about using probiotics with infants with 'colic' and they can help some babies, but it sounds like Ms. Z is pretty much a happy, alert, adorable! little girl! Those are awesome photos!