Thoughts About Babies and Gender
Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. I found both the comments with sweater suggestions and the comments talking about gender and babies to be interesting and thought provoking. While I am still ruminating about the sweater, I wanted to talk a little more about the gender issues, because, I have to admit, I didn't think I was going to run smack up against them like I did.
In fact, after I found out we were having a girl, but before Ms. Z was born, I insisted that I didn't want to do that whole "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" thing. When people asked me what colors I liked, I suggested yellow, green, purple and my personal favorite color, blue. And, lucky for me, most of the clothing that we were gifted with came in a rainbow of colors. Sure, there was some pink in there, but there was enough variety that I didn't mind the pink too much -- and having diversity in her wardrobe was much more important to me than anything else.
Initially I went quite "neutral" for her nursery as well. Her furniture is in light wood and white, the walls are a soft purple, her carpet is grey. Nothing that screamed out girl to me. We did go the pink route for some of her bedding, and registered for a really lovely dark pink and white motif crib set from Nurseryworks. But with a variety of different colored toys and mobiles the pink wasn't overwhelming, and I thought it was a nice balance.
I think what started to get me when it came to wanting people to recognize that Z was a girl was when people would ask me "Is it a boy or a girl?" On one hand, the pronoun "it" is just the neutral pronoun. On the other hand, people are never referred to as "it" except in a perjorative way. So not only did it feel like my baby was losing an important part of her identity, but she was being made into a thing or some kind of pet. And gender really is an important part of identity. If only because without gender we become "it"s.
I could completely understand this reaction from people without children. Heck, I'm sure that I've been guilty of it more than once in my life and I don't chase after people and harass them about their word choices. But once I had Z, it really sunk in for me that babies were little people with their own personalities and identities. And as I struggled with figuring out why it bugged me when people asked me what "it" was, I tried to find ways to make sure I wasn't doing the same thing. So when we met another baby, I started asking questions like "How old is your baby?" or "Does your baby enjoy the swings?" because the parent or caretaker would usually say something like "He's 6 months old" or "She's getting to like them now that she can sit up." So when I didn't know whether the baby was a boy or a girl, I was able to get my gender information in a way that preserved my own need to recognize that the baby was a person and not a thing.
So that was when the pink started to creep in. First it was her foot wear: pink Robeez shoes for when we went out for walks, then subtle things in her wardrobe: tops with pink flowers, bottoms with pink designs or more feminine motifs. She has a few solid pink things, but mostly what I've tried to do is buy clothing that gives off cues. I love bright colors (I think that is why I enjoy quilting so much) and want Z to enjoy color, too, but I also want people to recognize that Z is a girl. Sometimes being a girl comes with a lot of baggage, but my overall experience so far is that it's a pretty cool thing, too.
Does that mean that I subscribe to all the gender-role stereotyping stuff? No, not at all. I grew up thinking that most of the time the boys got the coolest toys: building blocks, erector sets, Legos and miniature firetrucks with real hoses that could squirt water and computers. I have a plan to make sure that Z gets exposed to all sorts of different kinds of toys and games and I'm going to work hard to make sure that she understands that no matter who she is or what she wants to be, her parents will support her. That means if she wants to be an engineer (a strong possibility given her genetic stock) we'll try to encourage that. If she wants to be a girly girl, I'll try hard to not make her think that there's anything wrong with that either.
Not too long ago, I was listening to a podcast or reading something online (I honestly can't remember) about "taking back the pink" -- it spent a lot of time discussing how one simple color came to be symbolic of such a strong set of stereotypes and how both women -- and some men -- had gotten tired of this and were embracing pink in their lives just because they liked it and it made them happy. And I was remembering that article when I bought the yarn for Z. I just thought it was a lovely color and would make this sweet sophisticaed strawberry ice cream confection of a sweater, and it would give me the chance to indulge in a sweet and girly little project. (In fact, if the yarn hadn't been so darned expensive ($14/skein) I would have bought it for myself.). So I guess that yarn is a little bit stereotype and a little bit my attempt to get beyond my own color biases and just enjoy working with a happy color. Kind of nice when you get a "twofer" like that.
In fact, after I found out we were having a girl, but before Ms. Z was born, I insisted that I didn't want to do that whole "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" thing. When people asked me what colors I liked, I suggested yellow, green, purple and my personal favorite color, blue. And, lucky for me, most of the clothing that we were gifted with came in a rainbow of colors. Sure, there was some pink in there, but there was enough variety that I didn't mind the pink too much -- and having diversity in her wardrobe was much more important to me than anything else.
Initially I went quite "neutral" for her nursery as well. Her furniture is in light wood and white, the walls are a soft purple, her carpet is grey. Nothing that screamed out girl to me. We did go the pink route for some of her bedding, and registered for a really lovely dark pink and white motif crib set from Nurseryworks. But with a variety of different colored toys and mobiles the pink wasn't overwhelming, and I thought it was a nice balance.
I think what started to get me when it came to wanting people to recognize that Z was a girl was when people would ask me "Is it a boy or a girl?" On one hand, the pronoun "it" is just the neutral pronoun. On the other hand, people are never referred to as "it" except in a perjorative way. So not only did it feel like my baby was losing an important part of her identity, but she was being made into a thing or some kind of pet. And gender really is an important part of identity. If only because without gender we become "it"s.
I could completely understand this reaction from people without children. Heck, I'm sure that I've been guilty of it more than once in my life and I don't chase after people and harass them about their word choices. But once I had Z, it really sunk in for me that babies were little people with their own personalities and identities. And as I struggled with figuring out why it bugged me when people asked me what "it" was, I tried to find ways to make sure I wasn't doing the same thing. So when we met another baby, I started asking questions like "How old is your baby?" or "Does your baby enjoy the swings?" because the parent or caretaker would usually say something like "He's 6 months old" or "She's getting to like them now that she can sit up." So when I didn't know whether the baby was a boy or a girl, I was able to get my gender information in a way that preserved my own need to recognize that the baby was a person and not a thing.
So that was when the pink started to creep in. First it was her foot wear: pink Robeez shoes for when we went out for walks, then subtle things in her wardrobe: tops with pink flowers, bottoms with pink designs or more feminine motifs. She has a few solid pink things, but mostly what I've tried to do is buy clothing that gives off cues. I love bright colors (I think that is why I enjoy quilting so much) and want Z to enjoy color, too, but I also want people to recognize that Z is a girl. Sometimes being a girl comes with a lot of baggage, but my overall experience so far is that it's a pretty cool thing, too.
Does that mean that I subscribe to all the gender-role stereotyping stuff? No, not at all. I grew up thinking that most of the time the boys got the coolest toys: building blocks, erector sets, Legos and miniature firetrucks with real hoses that could squirt water and computers. I have a plan to make sure that Z gets exposed to all sorts of different kinds of toys and games and I'm going to work hard to make sure that she understands that no matter who she is or what she wants to be, her parents will support her. That means if she wants to be an engineer (a strong possibility given her genetic stock) we'll try to encourage that. If she wants to be a girly girl, I'll try hard to not make her think that there's anything wrong with that either.
Not too long ago, I was listening to a podcast or reading something online (I honestly can't remember) about "taking back the pink" -- it spent a lot of time discussing how one simple color came to be symbolic of such a strong set of stereotypes and how both women -- and some men -- had gotten tired of this and were embracing pink in their lives just because they liked it and it made them happy. And I was remembering that article when I bought the yarn for Z. I just thought it was a lovely color and would make this sweet sophisticaed strawberry ice cream confection of a sweater, and it would give me the chance to indulge in a sweet and girly little project. (In fact, if the yarn hadn't been so darned expensive ($14/skein) I would have bought it for myself.). So I guess that yarn is a little bit stereotype and a little bit my attempt to get beyond my own color biases and just enjoy working with a happy color. Kind of nice when you get a "twofer" like that.
i think it is the gender confusion that makes people pierce babies ears or make the little girls wear those elastic headbands with the bows on them.
maybe get Z a barrette or something?
but i'm sure it can be frustrating
When I was 1 1/2, dad bought me a red pick up Tonka truck for Christmas. The story was that I always pointed to the trucks when sitting in his lap while he read Popular Mechanics. There's no reason little girls can't have the cool toys, too. Blocks and legos and Lincoln logs, as well.
I can't remember a single item in pink, and this was way back in the early 60s. I think there's more pink and powder blue out there now than there was back in the day.
My niece loves pink and loves "princess". It's disturbing to me that she's so totally engulfed in logos all of the time. And her brother is Spiderman all the way. No originality at all.
I blame the media!
Once upon a time, about 20 years ago, my beautiful 4 year old son requested pink roses at the bakery when we ordered his birthday cake. The woman manning the counter tried to persuade him that pink was only for girls and that he should select blue. He stood his stubborn toddler ground and insisted that pink was his most favorite color. When she failed to change his view, she turned to me to be a rational and responsible parent and not let him have pink. She suggested that it would cause permanent harm if I let him continue on this pink path. I smiled and let her know that it was HIS cake, and HIS favorite color, and HIS birthday, and that therefore it would be PINK. The more roses and the pinker they were, the better. She refused to submit the order, and we had to see her manager to get the order placed. The woman was beside herself, and insisted that she would not contribute to the ruin of a perfectly lovely little boy.
Needless to say, he is now a wonderful young man, with a healthy masculinity, who occasionally dons a pink shirt.
The issues of color and culture are very interesting. You are providing Miss Z with a healthy palette exposure. Soon enough, she will be choosing her own colors, and I suspect that she will have some strong opinions! Meantime, I would try to let the gender issue go a bit. That is the beauty of the very young, to be unfettered in regards to stereotypical expectations, and to be free to just live in the moment, experiencing the world around them. Genes run strong. Soon enough, she will be very much a girl. The relative sexlessness of infancy has its own charms, and they are fleeting. IMHO!
I was very much like you in in the beggning, the ONLY thing with pink on it in her room was her hamper (cream and stripes inthe color "teaberry" which is very pretty) and a small item hanging on the wall that was gifted to us. NOTHING ELSE pink! I wanted it gender neutral incase she came out a boy (they said girl but ya never know) and because I wanted it to last as she few up and grow with her. I got the shabby chic collection of furniture from target which is feminine but in a more sophisticated sort of way and will lor ok cute when she is 12 (if it lasts that long).
I got a pink stroller and car seat PURELY so no one would ask her sex, and I very ralrey get asked when she is in her strollers (though sometimes).
But let me tell ya something, all men assume all babies are boys. Thats a blanket statement so obviously not 100% true, but I have had DD dressed in pink with a pink pacifier and had a guy still say "he". People are men obsessed, my family members are always telling me I need to have a boy next, makes me wants to smack the crap out of everyone. I would love another girl (or a boy).
I had to embrace the pink. Overall I'm not a fan of very deep dark colors on babies, so very pale pinks, yellows and greens or a lovely aqua are my favorite. Some pale lilac or lavender are nice as well. There is so much frigging pink and if I liked the design os a top on many occasions I have had to accept it is pink. So my girl has boat loads of pink clothing and honestly at my two showers 90% of the clothing was pink or red. I always, ALWAYS grab anything aqua for a girl I see, I want to support whoever is deciding to put out some "alternative" colors besides pink and purple. I also adore blue, a pretty tealish blue on a girl is so nice.
I find myself liking pink far more then I ever have, because I think I HAVE to if I want to be happy about what I have as options half the time. I have a brown and pink diaper bag (very little pink) and a brown grocery cart cover with big fat pink poka dots. If I had my choice I would have had colors other then pink but most of the time the blue is in a pattern so clearly for a boy, like army camo, or police cars.
My favorite toys as a child was micromachines and trains, so I really can't wait to buy her those sorts of things! Along with mermaids and horses of course :) It's so fun to live vicariously through my child, though I am quiet sure in a few years she will want all disney princess and elmo (bleh, and bleh) and I will not be living so vicariously through her anymore. But while I can, you bet I will :) haha
oh and you know the colors used to be reversed right? go watch Disney's Peter Pan and notice what color wendy is wearing, an what color the youngest boy (toddler) is wearing. I had a good laugh over that. I think it would blow a lot of peoples minds to think of a load of baby boys dressed in pink, but at one point they where!
I'm one of those parents who went neutral all the way with their little girl. My daughter rarely wore dresses or wore anything girly-like, her ears aren't pierced (which is a BIG thing in my Latino family), and she had all gender-neutral toys. I got plenty of "is it a boy or a girl" comments, but I just forced myself to let it go because I was so dead-set on not assigning gender rules on her.
She's now 3 and totally obsessed with anything and everything princess and pink. She is the girliest girl you'll meet - seriously. She loves shoes and clothes and anything sparkly. Nothing makes her happier than wearing a long dress and her shiny 'tap' dress shoes, every single day.
Maybe it backfired? Maybe this is just her? Maybe, in the end, it doesn't really matter what color we put them in, or what questions people ask. Their little personalities are so much stronger than what color we choose to put them in, you know? I say put her in whatever you want. Hell, cover her in head-to-toe pink tulle if that's what you really want to do. In the end, it's how we manage to show them that they're loved and accepted no matter how they turn out.
Oh, Barbara, what a story! I would barely have been able to contain myself. I'm the mom of a one-year-old, and people have always (correctly) assumed he is a boy, despite my efforts to dress him in gender-neutral clothes and re-use items from his little girl friends. One person did call him "she" the other day, and when I just went on and said something about "him" teething, she blushed and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" as if it would offend his manhood. I really don't mind if people assume incorrectly, as long as they are not playing into the "pink roses for girls and footballs for boys" stereotypes. However, my mother has a big problem with his pink lovey.
I remember reading somewhere that the "gender" colors (pink=girl, blue=boy) used to be the other way round years and years ago... Red was for royal men, thus pink being a dilution of red was for men, and blue being for purity was for women! So go figure!
I am the mother of 8-month old twin girls, and I have some of the same concerns about clothing and gender. I don't want them stereotyped by others or learn to stereotype themselves, but I also don't want to deal with others' use of 'it' or their surprise when finding out the baby in the navy blue outfit with a teddy bear on it is a girl.
We didn't learn the genders of the babies before they were born, so that did help limit the accumulation of pink. The girls have a lot of hand-me-down clothes from their boy cousins and friends. However, when we go out visiting or shopping (which isn't a lot--it's hard to get out with twins), I choose to dress them in pink/purple/flower 'girl' clothes, or at least gender-neutral yellow or green, and avoid the blue stuff with trucks. I have considered the elastic headbands with bows.
There seems to be an overwhelming amount of pinkness and princesses in girls' clothes these days. I wish there were more just kids' clothes, and fewer boys' clothes and girls' clothes. Or, I wish I had the time and skills to sew.
And, you know, it's just recently that I've started wearing pink. I work in a traditionally man's field, and didn't feel comfortable dressing in a girly way. But things have changed and I've changed, and there's pink in my wardrobe now.
I clearly need to talk about more non-knitting related subjects because really great dialog gets started!
Barbara's story made me smile and cringe at the same time. Smile because her son had a definite opinion and Barbara backed him up; cringe because the woman in the bakery was just way out of line to even make the situation difficult.
Clementine's comment also got me thinking. Especially when she mentioned adding pink to her wardrobe. About 5-6 years ago when I lost a lot of weight, I started feeling a good deal more "feminine" and purchased a lot more body conscious clothes. Many in shades of pink. It wasn't really a conscious thing. And again, now that I am post baby and trying to get my body back into the shape that makes me happy, I find myself reaching for deep pink (I love fuschia!).
Anyway, thanks to everyone for giving me a good deal to think about. It's amazing to me how much I have learned about myself by becoming a mom.
My 8YO DD has short hair, really short hair, like a pixie, she is a beautiful little girl and no one who looks at her would think that she is a boy, but she is constantly referred to as a boy. I know it bothers her a bit, but she loves having short hair (Much easier to care for) She requested pierced ears for her 7th birthday and even with pierced ears, she is still called a boy. Thankfully, she is fierce about her gender and has no problem telling folks that she is a girl, but it does get old.
Oh, wow, I love this conversation!
I'm the youngest of a mixed bag of kids and was a total tomboy. When I was five, I refused to wear anything but my brother's outgrown cub scout uniform. I insisted on having my hair cut short and loved it when people thought I was a boy. In college I studied literature and wrote my honors thesis on images of women in German literature of the Nazi era. (It was more interesting than it sounds.) I also studied fairy tales, focusing on their gender socialization aspects. When I had kids, I was determined to raise them "gender-neutral." I have two sons, and both of them loved pink until they were old enough to realize they weren't allowed to. My older son insisted on taking dance lessons instead of playing football, and my younger did gymnastics. They both loved Polly Pocket dolls--the girlier, the better. (My husband has no insecurity issues and was totally supportive--he even played dolls with his sons, earning my undying respect and adoration, although he did balk at the pink nail polish our older son wanted to wear.)
But as they got older, my boys still internalized the message about what boys are supposed to like and do, and now neither of them would be caught dead doing anything "girly." I hope, though, that our consistent message that they can like whatever they want and do whatever they like, regardless of society's opinion about gender roles, will stay with them at some level and allow them greater freedom to express themselves than men of previous generations have enjoyed.
My two, both girls, were born in the thick of the gender-neutral 1980's. We really tried to provide toys and books of all types. The older loved her fire trucks, but would use them to drive around her dolls. She loved her blocks, which she used to create little pieces of furniture - for her dolls. Our second child also loved the trucks, blocks - and dolls. No matter what you do, when little girls get to age 3, 4, 5, they go through a sparkly, pink and purple princess phase. And Barbie love seems to be more or less inevitable, despite parental aversion to Barbie. I wonder what that is all about, genetically? When you think about things, however, you realize that girls actually have broader choices than little boys. Girls can take on any role, girls can wear any color, while boys are discouraged from choosing "feminine" games or colors, like that poor child with his pink birthday cake.
My little girl is 3.5, and she's my proof that no matter how gender-neutral you try to be with toys, they figure out their own preferences. Carrie has always had legos, cars, trucks...but she uses the lego people to role play instead of building with the legos, and she prefers to play with her dolls and kitchen set. She has a healthy obsession with princesses, but I'm a mean mom who won't buy all the cheaply made character-encrusted stuff for her.
Honestly, I decided early on to embrace the pink - but even being dressed head-to-toe in pink with a full head of shockingly dark hair, people *still* insisted on calling her a boy until her hair was long enough for pigtails. If you ask her now what her favorite color is, she lists her top five in order: pink, white, purple, green and orange. She'll sometimes choose to wear blue because she has perceived it to be my favorite color since I wear it a lot.
I'm much more disturbed by her comments about things being for boys or for girls (for example, while looking through a toy catalog we got in the mail) than about what color she wears or whether complete strangers call her a boy or a girl. And how can she help thinking that way, when the doll pages are plastered with pictures of happy little girls playing, and robots or cars are only being played with by boys?
The most interesting way I've been asked about my baby's gender was when he wasn't with me. I was getting a haircut by a new stylist. I told him I had a baby (by way of explaining my particularly thin locks). He replied, "What kind of baby did you have?" Huh?
I think "we" [this generation of parents] are WAY overthinking this stuff. My mother (a June Cleaver stereotype) dressed me and my sister in pink, flowered dresses, gloves and hats. (Think Carolyn Kennedy.) How did we turn out? We used our doll carriages for our beagles, shot rifles, our Barbie dolls were spies not models, we are both mechanically inclined, and are both attracted to intense colors. The only vestige, of "pink" is that it is still my sister's favorite color....when she isn't crabbing or knocking out walls.
What mattered was that our parents supported us in EVERYTHING we wanted to do-neither of them ever told us we "couldn't" or "shouldn't" (except for illegal/immoral stuff) be or do anything.
My son was called a girl when he was dressed in boyish clothes (but his hair was a little long), and my daughter was called a boy after she chopped her hair off (and was wearing her brother`s hand me down coat). It`s a little upsetting....I mean, the first thing that gets announced when they`re born is not that they`re alive, but what they ARE. We kept everything as neutral as possible with No. 1....I never even saw pink strollers or carseats back then. Everything got reused for No. 2 but it`s sure easier going from boy to girl!
As an adult, I`ve gone through times growing up of not wanting anything pink near me, to now, rejoicing in pink things for myself!
Very interesting ideas. My daughter (7mos) looks like "a boy" because she hardly has any hair and doesn't have long eye lashes. I really think people mistaken boys for girls when they have long eye lashes and wispy hair. Anyhow, I dress her in girly clothes (some pink, some not) because I want people to know she's a girl. I'm pretty anti-pink myself but it's ok for her! Recently, we took her to go shopping for me and she wanted to grab anything that was pink or red and had patterns on it. She was also super interested in jewelry, probably because it was shiny.
Can pink just be a color? Does it have to say something about us? Are those of us who are anti-pink just reading too much into things? Interesting things to think about.
I was always very careful about stereotyping my girls as they were growing up - they LOVED Tonka trucks & I just wish I had my younger daughter's collection of Transformers (I read that they are worth a lot as collectibles now). But back in the 70's it was a lot easier to get gender neutral clothing for babies. I dressed my girls largely in corduroy overalls with long sleeve tees during cool weather & sunsuits (which seem to have gone completely out of fashion). Mostly they were blues, greens, red, etc - gender neutral colors - I wanted to be able to use any baby clothes for my second child even if I should have a boy. But I did have some pink clothing (altho not particularly "girly") esp for the younger one who loved that color. interestingly, even when I would dress her in a favorite little Carter's outfit - a soft knit dress with matching panties & booties - white with tiny pink rosebuds, people would still refer to her as "he." Go figure! I was surprised, when she became pregnant in 2001 & decided not to find out the sex before birth, that it almost impossible to buy clothing that is suitable for either a boy or a girl (other than those stretchy little suits & even many of them are clearly either for a girl or boy). My younger grandson (middle child - age 4½) loves pink & purple but my daughter does not like to dress her boys in "girly" colors. I have always found it interesting that it is socially acceptable for females to wear "mannish" clothing like jeans & flannel shirts (my winter "unifrom" noe that I'm retired but not for males to wear feminine looking clothing (unless they want to be thought gay).
This is a really interesting discussion! When my daughter was a baby in 1973, she wore hand-me-downs from my male cousin, including a terry-cloth sleeper in blue & white with a football on it. When she was a toddler, she wore corduroy pants and turtleneck shirts, in primary colors, not particularly girly or boyish. I do remember a daycare teacher suggesting that my daughter might act more like a girl if I dressed her like one--but I really liked her in denim overalls with a flowery shirt, plus it was much more practical. And I know now that even if I HAD put her in frilly dresses, she would still be the strong, athletic, beautiful young woman that she is today.
I think the more important message for boys and girls is that they can do anything they put their minds to, rather than what colors (or toys) are appropriate.
i know how you feel about the asking of the baby's gender. we have twin boys, one who is so handsome and so boy, the other who is absolutely beautiful with big eyes and angelina jolie lips. and we are always asked gender. sometimes about both. people are weird and oddly unobservant.
i do want them to learn to knit and embroider and play with the stuff i love if they would like. but yeah, the lego thing and the building of things all hold great appeal too. and i am going to get them some pink shirts because there is something a little punk rock about pink.
Loving this topic! I hate the "what is it" question. "It" is a baby, duh!
My feeling is that very early, my kids showed me what they liked and all I had to do was follow their lead. My older daughter's favorite color was yellow from very young until about kindergarten when it changed to blue. Her interests from toddler onward were exactly the same as my brother's when he was a kid: dinosaurs, fossils, rocks, bugs, space and volcanoes. And yes, I got weird looks or comments from people more than once when my long curly haired daughter was wearing a T. rex t-shirt! No, folks, it's not a hand-me-down, it's her favorite shirt which she picked out. The only place this has been difficult is in the choice of friends. She has always preferred to play with the boys, but in elementary school, some of her boy friends got pressure to not play with a girl, and sleepovers and birthday parties don't work out that well. She has a best girl friend for the first time this year, which has been making things a little easier.
She would never play with dolls, and although she tried to like Barbie/Bratz when her cousins of the same age were crazy for them, they just got stuck in the back of the closet after she played with them about once. I remember wondering how my nieces had gotten so into the stereotypical girl stuff. I thought I must be doing something right to be avoiding all that fashion doll mania! Then along comes my younger daughter and she turns out to be a girly-girl pretty much from birth. Before her first birthday she would reach for the pinkest sparkliest stuff at stores and her favorite color is without a doubt pink. She's now 2 and loves kitties and baby dolls and dress up. Too bad her big sister sold all the Barbies at a garage sale.
My son loves typical boy stuff, cars and trains and pirates. He will say all colors are his favorite except pink. He recently asked me to scrape the pink frosting off a cupcake before he would eat it. But he also loves to cook and does needlepoint and goes to gymnastics in a class of him plus 5 little girls.
I'm guessing that someone sometime told my son that pink is a girl color, but the difference between my 2 daughters and the early age from which it was apparent really make me think there's something intrinsically different in their "pink level". I wonder how that will change as they grow up. I also find myself more drawn to pinks and lace and so on now than I was in my 20's, so I guess maybe it's just a lifelong process of adjusting the pink.
Like many others, before my daughter was born, I was ready to refuse pink. Her room is painted a bright blue (Smurf blue, kind of), with a lovely garden mural on one wall. We bought a wool blanket in Ireland with purple, green, and blue stripes that were supposed to be her room colors. But, she was bald for a good portion of her first year and I am not one to put those little headbands on baby girls. I ended up dressing her in a lot of pink and she still wears lots of pink at 4. It really suits her coloring, it tends to be easier to find an outfit, and it fits her personality in a lot of ways. While I think it's important to not limit our children by relegating them to certain stereotypes, I think it's just as important not to exclude them from being who they want to be.