August 30, 2008
You Know You're A Grown Up When...
Today was a real milestone day. When it started, I didn't know it would be, but I think that's true of a lot of milestones that I hit. They sneak up on me and whack me in the back of the head with a rubber chicken and giggle as they pass me by.
When John and I got married, we had one lovely sports coupe (a Subaru SVX that on lovely summer days we still miss) and my functional but not as lovely Ford Escort. After finishing up my PhD and getting started on my post-doc, I got obsessed with having a car that I really adored. A sporty car that reflected the fact that I was a young professional with a personality. The Escort ("Annie" -- from Harry Chapin's "Mail Order Annie"*) went off to my Dad and my Mercury Cougar ("Corey" -- from Harry Chapin's "Corey's Coming"**) filled her spot in the garage. John and I now had two mostly impractical vehicles -- Corey being somewhat more practical because she was a hatchback -- but with no children in the picture, it wasn't a big deal. We were happy even if other people thought a garage filled with sports coupes didn't make a lot of sense.
When the time came to replace the Subaru, John and I decided that if we were going to get a new car, it had to have 4 doors. While the kid thing was in the back of our minds, the most prominent thought was just to be able to put 4 adults in a car comfortably. John doesn't have too many expensive hobbies or too many things that he spends money on, but he does like to have a nice car. We settled on a Jaguar X-type because not only did it have 4 doors, but it also came in AWD and had a stick -- practical and fun. And since we got it, it's been a good car for us. When Z arrived, it became the car with the baby seat since the Cougar, while it could, in fact, safely have a baby seat installed, with two doors, was not a whole lot of fun to put a baby seat in.
And that, combined with the fact that the Jag's backseat is not all that capacious given the ginormous size of the infant and toddler carseat system we chose, got us thinking about a more family friendly vehicle. SUV's were out because neither of us liked the idea of parking a behemoth in the city, or the gas mileage that usually comes along with them. John and I have what we refer to as a "Minivan Deathpact" (i.e. we will shoot each other before we get one)***, so those were out, too. That left us with the station wagon or large sedans. And we eliminated the sedans because we wanted a car with more of a hatch-back like carrying option.
Just like when we got the Jag, we wanted something sporty and fun to drive. Add a manual transmission and a back seat that can accomodate our baby seat onto that and the field of options gets very narrow very quickly. We weren't in any hurry though, so John had time to find us the perfect car. Last weekend we brought her home. Enter Inga, my beautiful new Swedish girl -- a 2004 Volvo V70 R station wagon. With a 6 speed transmission and 300 hp under the hood you pretty much forget you are driving a station wagon when you sit in her cockpit. And the one we bought is in such good condition it feels like a new car. John and I have actually been fighting over who gets to drive her!
All of which meant that it was time to send our second coupe to a new home. In a surprising stroke of good luck, we sold her this afternoon (we thought a 9 year old sports coupe with manual transmission might take a while to sell).
As she was driving away with her new owner. Recently detailed 17" alloy rims shining in the late summer sunshine, I had that realization. The rubber chicken to the back of the head. John and I had a baby and now owned only eminently practical cars. Not only that, but we both really like and are happy with our eminently practical cars. And I have become a Volvo station wagon driving mom.
At this point, I looked around my house. Noticed the the foam corners on my impractical glass coffee table. Noticed that all my impractical interior decorations have been moved out of baby reach or moved out of circulation all together. Thought about how we are now in the market for baby-proof door latches and baby gates for our stairs. Remembered that I could no longer do simple things like leave my knitting or my laptop on the couch. Was reminded that restaurant selection criteria now includes whether they have high chairs and serve French fries. Realized that almost all of our outings are planned around naps.
And that's when it hit me. John and I have become parents. Completely unhip, completely practical grown ups.
And you know what? I wouldn't trade it for anything.
* I became a Harry Chapin fan through my father. "Mail Order Annie" tells the story of a mail order bride who comes to be the wife of a farmer in North Dakota from the point of view of the farmer who is waiting for her to get off the train. When I got Annie, my dad, who worked for Ford, handled the process for me and drove her to Chicago for me so that I didn't lose any time in grad school, so she was my Mail Order Annie.
** The Cougar got her name from another Harry Chapin song "Corey's Coming" and it tells the story of an older main who worked in a train yard and befriends a younger man by telling him stories "of the glories of his past -- but he always saved his story of his Corey for the last". When the old man passes on, the younger man is at the funeral when Corey arrives and becomes the young man's story and dream as well as he takes over the old man's job. At the time, Corey was my dream car. But I had to order her and wait for her to come in by train from the Flat Rock plant in Michigan.
** I mean no offense to those of you who happily (or unhappily) drive minivans. In fact, over our Florida vacation, we had one and it was a handy vehicle for 4 adults and a baby. For John and I, it's just a symbol of Chicago suburbia and something we made a conscious decision to get away from when we bought our house in the city. It's one of those jokes we have between us. Like all things, there's just different strokes for different folks. We have no problems with minivans or the suburbs for people who are happy with them -- they just aren't things that make us happy
"Minivan Deathpact", HAHAHAHA! That is fantastic and funny.
Inga is pretty AND practical! Hell, I have no kids but would love to have a station wagon anyway.
said:
LOVE the Minivan Deathpact! I have more like a Car Deathpact (with myself). Nothing wrong with cars, but I've made a conscious decision (and moved to Toronto to make it possible!) to use alternate means of transportation for as long as I possibly can.
Z is lucky to have parents who can so ably balance her needs and their own.
I feel the same way about minivans. Not for me. Ever. I have an Isuzu Rodeo named Rosenante (Don Quixote's horse), Rosie for short and she's 14 years old. I love her but realize that as I get older, the stick will become more difficult. I already have arthritis and don't look forward to driving in pain. The thought of giving up my manual for an automatic breaks my heart. But that's a worry for another year. Huge Harry Chapin fan here. I had the great good fortune to see him in concert a few times. He was wonderful. I have turned my children on to him.
DUDE!!!! We have an R sedan. My wish was for an R station wagon when the baby came but alas, the Volvo backseat was too small for the car seat and enough leg room in the front seat. My dream was dead.
Enter the Volkswagon Passat VR6. This year is the last year they're making it. (I think it's already done in production.) It's everything I hoped my R station wagon would be and more.
In fact, I bet my station wagon can beat your station wagon in a drag race. ;-)
I have a need for speed, obviously, and I wish you all the best with your R. I don't know if you know this, but it's like a little secret society out there, this group of R owners. Very, very cool! Welcome to the club!!!
said:
*chuckle!*
We are also shopping for a new car. We looked at that Volvo, too! Our kids are older now, though, so we are making the move back to a sportier car (yippee!). It'll still be a four-door sedan, but maybe a little more fun than the cars we've had for the past eleven years. :)
said:
Back in the day... when you could put a baby seat in the front, we managed with a teeny VW rabbit and one of those Electric Cars that got nixed. It was okay because if it was all three of us, we generally stayed home! but then kiddo #2 was on the way, and OMG, we got a station wagon. I so understand. But maturity does have some advantages. May they be visible and entertaining for you SOON.
The 2 Chapin songs are 2 of my favorites of his. In fact, they "played in my head" as soon as I saw the titles. They both reflect how love can dispell loneliness.
I haven't even finished the whole post,but I had to comment -- I ADORE Harry Chapin and it's not all that common to find people who have heard of him, except perhaps "Cat's in the Cradle," which was so NOT his best.
I saw him several times in the late 70s in Champaign, and I was in Germany when he died. I sat on my floor and cried, then dragged myself into work, where not a single person knew who he was (although I worked on an Army post with a bunch of Americans)....
And now I'll go finish reading your post! ;-)
We just installed a seatbelt in the back seat of the Fiat convertible for the baby seat and called it good. I guess that means I'm still not a grown-up.
said:
Oh man - yeah. I drive the SAME EXACT car (well, in maroon), and I too have mucked up the corners of the glass coffee table with stick-on corners. Usually there are bits of cereal smeared across the glass top adding to the decor...but all I'm looking at is the baby cruising around the table at lightening speed!
I have to share a minivan story. My husband was always the one with the snarky minivan comments as we drove. He drove a TRUCK when we got married. Ya know -- you can put a 4 x 8 sheet of plywood in one? Me, I was happy with my little stick shift Saturn (which I still have, 1994 and still ticking!). But fast forward some years, and my parents offered to *give* us their not-very-old, very nice minivan right about the time our daughters were getting older and we were schlepping their friends around sometimes too (BTW, just for antistereotyping, I don't live in a suburb, and our kids walk to school when it's not dark and snowy!).
Hard to pass up a free car, when we needed one at that point. But my husband is in minivan denial, still, even though it's been a few years.
He still refers to it as "the truck". Ha!
What a timely entry! We just bought a 2006 Subaru Outback for me because we will need to move baby A up to a convertible car seat soon and it just won't fit in my Miata. DH wants to hold onto the Miata for a little while longer though because he has the illusion that he will actually drive it without baby. We'll see about that! I love my Miata but I'd rather she be driven than sitting in the garage.
Happy new car! What memories your songs brought back! I saw Harry Chapin on my birthday - dammed if I can remember which one! I recently bought the Greatest Hits CD, and can't listen since it makes me cry!
I know you'll love it. I'm on my second Volvo. This one is a V40 (now discontinued) and I'm so happy with it.