Z: September 2007 Archives
When you have a baby, there are a lot of moments to cherish. When you are a mom working at home and caring for a baby, during the day, there are some moments you cherish a little more than others:
A sleeping baby is always a wonderful thing. She always looks so beautiful and tranquil when she sleeps. John and I will often just stop and enjoy looking at her when she is taking a nap. Her calm makes us a little calmer. It's in those moments when, even when it's been a harrowing day, I feel like I've done something right. If this tiny baby can sleep so peacefully in my house, all must be well with the most important part of the world.
Z will sleep in many positions (tummy is her favorite) and at all times of the day except the evening. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a picture of my personal favorite nap. It's too dark between 12:30 AM and 7 AM to take a good photo... and besides, I'm sleeping.
Yep, about a week and a half ago (literally on the night of her "8 week birthday"), John and I woke up in the morning after putting her down and it was light out. At first, of course, we both got up worried that something had happened to her. But she was alive and happy. The night before, John had put her down to sleep on her tummy for the night for the very first time, figuring she'd be waking us up for her usual 3-4 AM feeding. We figured it must just be a fluke (she's tricky like that... we've had a few times where she did it and then was back to the usual schedule the next night), but a week and a half later (knock on wood), she's still doing it. Not only that, but her daytime nap routine has become very stable. And, even better, when she is awake now, we've got much less fussiness to deal with (it's not gone, but it's more like 30 minutes of continuous unhappiness instead of 2 hours and it can be diminished if she's entertained properly) and much more happy smiley interactive baby to enjoy.
Clearly, space aliens have come to our house replaced our original baby with a new version. Or, at least, the transition was so abrupt, that that's what it seems like. We keep living under the assumption that they will come back and bring us the first baby, and that every day with this new baby is a blessing and not something we're entitled to*. Not getting up in the middle of the night has made me feel like a whole new person**. And the need to drain the feeding apparati after 6 hours of accumulation adds a special level of extra pleasure to nursing her in the morning (my favorite nursing session of the day). We'd love for her to actually sleep sometime between 4 and midnight, but if being awake for 6 to 8 hours guarantees us an almost equal amount of night sleeping and she's mostly pleasant, I, for one am completely willing to make the trade.
A pleasant, happy sleep-filled weekend to everyone!
* While we would love to take credit for this wonderful sleep transition, I don't think we actually did anything that made a difference, it was probably just good luck and the right timing for her. We have established a bed time ritual -- a bath, a change into her footie pajamas and nursing -- which I think helps her get ready for bed. But I don't think it has an impact on the length of time she sleeps.
**Strangely enough, I have developed the ability to wake up in the morning at hours that would have been incredibly early for me before (i.e. between 6 and 7:30 AM) and feel pretty good about it. I'm sort of baffled by this, and wonder if those mommy hormones have something to do with it.
I'm definitely to that point where the consistent lack of regular sleep is beginning to take its toll on me. Last night Ms. Z decided that she didn't want to go back to sleep after her 3 AM feeding. I walked with her, I swaddled her, I rocked her, I put her down in her crib when she quieted down. She broke her swaddle (which is pretty much the kiss of death for her being asleep) and it was time to repeat the effort. Of course, at this point, she is wide awake and kind of fussy. I start walking up and down our upstairs hallway again hoping that she will calm down, wondering if I will get to go to sleep again when she lets out a couple of screeches that do exactly what I was hoping to avoid: wake up her father.
For the first time ever, John and I decide that maybe we will take her to our bed for a while and see if she calms down. We're pretty much opposed to the co-sleeping idea,* but we'd both like to get some more sleep, and sometimes, after her morning feeding, this strategy works well for settling her and getting her to nap.
No dice. It's now about 5 AM. And all she treats us to is wet sheets when her diaper leaks. John, exceptional daddy that he is, gets up to change her and then, unbeknownst to me because I doze off, tries to do some of the same things that I did to get her to go to sleep. When I wake up around 8, its because she's been through a second diaper change and is ready for breakfast. She's slept almost not at all since 5 AM.
At moments like this, I love my baby, but I don't like her so much. And I wonder why she's changing her schedule again. Why, just when we think we had gotten her to the point where we could get two 4 hour stretches at night, that she goes and decides that she doesn't like that arrangement. And then, of course, I get that great mommy guilt that wells up any time I start to feel annoyed with her. How can I get irritated at a small person who is just learning how to co-ordinate her muscles, who is taking in the world in a way that I can't even fathom? It pretty much sucks to get up in the morning and be tired and feel guilty.
So right now I'm struggling to put some things in perspective. Something made difficult due to the fact that while she was wonderful the day before, yesterday afternoon she decided to be fussy from early afternoon until about 7 -- I couldn't put her down, couldn't sit down, or the unhappiness began. Evolution has given babies a cry that is geared towards making sure that adult humans cannot ignore it. And the Z baby certainly takes advantage of that.
Right now I keep trying to remind myself that she's supposed to grow out of this sort of thing... I tell you... right now things are going by faster than I can imagine, but sometimes the days trickle by so slowly it seems like some kind of relativistic event is slowing down time in my locality.
It's a good thing she's hit another milestone...
It can't be a coincidence that babies start to smile right around the time that they are supposed to be at the height of fussy behavior. It is hard to look at that happy little face and be upset or frustrated with her for too long.
*John and I feel strongly that our bed is our place... she can be invited into it every now and again, but we don't want it to become a regular thing. I know that co-sleeping is one of those hot-button issues that people feel very strongly about. I have no problem with people co-sleeping with their kids... but it isn't something that works for us.
P.S. Happy Birthday to my wonderful Mom! Have a good time in Mackinac City this weekend for me, Mom! I wish we could be there with you.
