Miscellaneous: June 2008 Archives
I discovered a little issue with being able to post comments to my blog. If, for some reason, you try to comment on my blog and have difficulty doing so, please clear out the cookies for my site from your browser. Apparently the cookies hold on to information that refers to my old Movable Type information.
I'm learning lots about MT that I didn't know before, but don't feel like I'm getting much closer to an installation that makes me happy.
Thanks for your patience.
I'm learning lots about MT that I didn't know before, but don't feel like I'm getting much closer to an installation that makes me happy.
Thanks for your patience.
Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. I found both the comments with sweater suggestions and the comments talking about gender and babies to be interesting and thought provoking. While I am still ruminating about the sweater, I wanted to talk a little more about the gender issues, because, I have to admit, I didn't think I was going to run smack up against them like I did.
In fact, after I found out we were having a girl, but before Ms. Z was born, I insisted that I didn't want to do that whole "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" thing. When people asked me what colors I liked, I suggested yellow, green, purple and my personal favorite color, blue. And, lucky for me, most of the clothing that we were gifted with came in a rainbow of colors. Sure, there was some pink in there, but there was enough variety that I didn't mind the pink too much -- and having diversity in her wardrobe was much more important to me than anything else.
Initially I went quite "neutral" for her nursery as well. Her furniture is in light wood and white, the walls are a soft purple, her carpet is grey. Nothing that screamed out girl to me. We did go the pink route for some of her bedding, and registered for a really lovely dark pink and white motif crib set from Nurseryworks. But with a variety of different colored toys and mobiles the pink wasn't overwhelming, and I thought it was a nice balance.
I think what started to get me when it came to wanting people to recognize that Z was a girl was when people would ask me "Is it a boy or a girl?" On one hand, the pronoun "it" is just the neutral pronoun. On the other hand, people are never referred to as "it" except in a perjorative way. So not only did it feel like my baby was losing an important part of her identity, but she was being made into a thing or some kind of pet. And gender really is an important part of identity. If only because without gender we become "it"s.
I could completely understand this reaction from people without children. Heck, I'm sure that I've been guilty of it more than once in my life and I don't chase after people and harass them about their word choices. But once I had Z, it really sunk in for me that babies were little people with their own personalities and identities. And as I struggled with figuring out why it bugged me when people asked me what "it" was, I tried to find ways to make sure I wasn't doing the same thing. So when we met another baby, I started asking questions like "How old is your baby?" or "Does your baby enjoy the swings?" because the parent or caretaker would usually say something like "He's 6 months old" or "She's getting to like them now that she can sit up." So when I didn't know whether the baby was a boy or a girl, I was able to get my gender information in a way that preserved my own need to recognize that the baby was a person and not a thing.
So that was when the pink started to creep in. First it was her foot wear: pink Robeez shoes for when we went out for walks, then subtle things in her wardrobe: tops with pink flowers, bottoms with pink designs or more feminine motifs. She has a few solid pink things, but mostly what I've tried to do is buy clothing that gives off cues. I love bright colors (I think that is why I enjoy quilting so much) and want Z to enjoy color, too, but I also want people to recognize that Z is a girl. Sometimes being a girl comes with a lot of baggage, but my overall experience so far is that it's a pretty cool thing, too.
Does that mean that I subscribe to all the gender-role stereotyping stuff? No, not at all. I grew up thinking that most of the time the boys got the coolest toys: building blocks, erector sets, Legos and miniature firetrucks with real hoses that could squirt water and computers. I have a plan to make sure that Z gets exposed to all sorts of different kinds of toys and games and I'm going to work hard to make sure that she understands that no matter who she is or what she wants to be, her parents will support her. That means if she wants to be an engineer (a strong possibility given her genetic stock) we'll try to encourage that. If she wants to be a girly girl, I'll try hard to not make her think that there's anything wrong with that either.
Not too long ago, I was listening to a podcast or reading something online (I honestly can't remember) about "taking back the pink" -- it spent a lot of time discussing how one simple color came to be symbolic of such a strong set of stereotypes and how both women -- and some men -- had gotten tired of this and were embracing pink in their lives just because they liked it and it made them happy. And I was remembering that article when I bought the yarn for Z. I just thought it was a lovely color and would make this sweet sophisticaed strawberry ice cream confection of a sweater, and it would give me the chance to indulge in a sweet and girly little project. (In fact, if the yarn hadn't been so darned expensive ($14/skein) I would have bought it for myself.). So I guess that yarn is a little bit stereotype and a little bit my attempt to get beyond my own color biases and just enjoy working with a happy color. Kind of nice when you get a "twofer" like that.
In fact, after I found out we were having a girl, but before Ms. Z was born, I insisted that I didn't want to do that whole "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" thing. When people asked me what colors I liked, I suggested yellow, green, purple and my personal favorite color, blue. And, lucky for me, most of the clothing that we were gifted with came in a rainbow of colors. Sure, there was some pink in there, but there was enough variety that I didn't mind the pink too much -- and having diversity in her wardrobe was much more important to me than anything else.
Initially I went quite "neutral" for her nursery as well. Her furniture is in light wood and white, the walls are a soft purple, her carpet is grey. Nothing that screamed out girl to me. We did go the pink route for some of her bedding, and registered for a really lovely dark pink and white motif crib set from Nurseryworks. But with a variety of different colored toys and mobiles the pink wasn't overwhelming, and I thought it was a nice balance.
I think what started to get me when it came to wanting people to recognize that Z was a girl was when people would ask me "Is it a boy or a girl?" On one hand, the pronoun "it" is just the neutral pronoun. On the other hand, people are never referred to as "it" except in a perjorative way. So not only did it feel like my baby was losing an important part of her identity, but she was being made into a thing or some kind of pet. And gender really is an important part of identity. If only because without gender we become "it"s.
I could completely understand this reaction from people without children. Heck, I'm sure that I've been guilty of it more than once in my life and I don't chase after people and harass them about their word choices. But once I had Z, it really sunk in for me that babies were little people with their own personalities and identities. And as I struggled with figuring out why it bugged me when people asked me what "it" was, I tried to find ways to make sure I wasn't doing the same thing. So when we met another baby, I started asking questions like "How old is your baby?" or "Does your baby enjoy the swings?" because the parent or caretaker would usually say something like "He's 6 months old" or "She's getting to like them now that she can sit up." So when I didn't know whether the baby was a boy or a girl, I was able to get my gender information in a way that preserved my own need to recognize that the baby was a person and not a thing.
So that was when the pink started to creep in. First it was her foot wear: pink Robeez shoes for when we went out for walks, then subtle things in her wardrobe: tops with pink flowers, bottoms with pink designs or more feminine motifs. She has a few solid pink things, but mostly what I've tried to do is buy clothing that gives off cues. I love bright colors (I think that is why I enjoy quilting so much) and want Z to enjoy color, too, but I also want people to recognize that Z is a girl. Sometimes being a girl comes with a lot of baggage, but my overall experience so far is that it's a pretty cool thing, too.
Does that mean that I subscribe to all the gender-role stereotyping stuff? No, not at all. I grew up thinking that most of the time the boys got the coolest toys: building blocks, erector sets, Legos and miniature firetrucks with real hoses that could squirt water and computers. I have a plan to make sure that Z gets exposed to all sorts of different kinds of toys and games and I'm going to work hard to make sure that she understands that no matter who she is or what she wants to be, her parents will support her. That means if she wants to be an engineer (a strong possibility given her genetic stock) we'll try to encourage that. If she wants to be a girly girl, I'll try hard to not make her think that there's anything wrong with that either.
Not too long ago, I was listening to a podcast or reading something online (I honestly can't remember) about "taking back the pink" -- it spent a lot of time discussing how one simple color came to be symbolic of such a strong set of stereotypes and how both women -- and some men -- had gotten tired of this and were embracing pink in their lives just because they liked it and it made them happy. And I was remembering that article when I bought the yarn for Z. I just thought it was a lovely color and would make this sweet sophisticaed strawberry ice cream confection of a sweater, and it would give me the chance to indulge in a sweet and girly little project. (In fact, if the yarn hadn't been so darned expensive ($14/skein) I would have bought it for myself.). So I guess that yarn is a little bit stereotype and a little bit my attempt to get beyond my own color biases and just enjoy working with a happy color. Kind of nice when you get a "twofer" like that.
- Chicago has gone from a very cold spring (the coldest May on record for over 100 years) to a blast of August and is now finally settling into some reasonable weather. Probably my favorite temperature range is 70 to 75 degrees farenheit with mild breezes. The fact that it is relatively rare in Chicago except in late spring and early fall makes it all that much more enjoyable when it arrives.
- My incredibly resilient father has taken on his third major surgical procedure in less than a year and just had his hip replaced. He called me after surgery yesterday. He is very excited to have it done and to be back on the road to much better mobility. I'm feeling inspired by his willingness to take on the scariness that is major orthopedic surgery so soon after some other major medical events because he wants to be proactive about ensuring his own quality of life. Sometimes it is easy to let our fears prevent us from opening a door and going someplace better. One of the things he can do as "therapy" is use his spinning wheel. You've got to love rehabilitation that involves spinning. Dad was asking me about whether he should make a two ply yarn or a three ply. Is there anything more fun than sharing a fiber hobby with your dad? I love you, Dad. Heal up soon and heal up better than before!
- Ms. Z is now going to bed between 8 and 9 PM almost every night. I am still adjusting to this change. You would think I would have thrown myself full force into knitting and spinning, and I have started a new pair of socks for myself. But mostly I am just using my free time to do not very much at all except read and watch some mindlessly entertaining TV (Deadliest Catch on Discovery... I am trying to convince myself that it is helping me to understand some of what is really involved in bringing seafood from the ocean to the grocery store, but I really just think that the cinematography of the boats in the Bering Sea is very cool in HD).
- You know, I'm just not feeling a 4th entry here... probably because I have a big #5...
MS is an autoimmune disease where in the immune system attacks the nervous system. This inappropriate immune behavior leads to many symptoms but often includes pain and fatigue and a degradation of neurological function including paralysis and loss of vision. Different people have different progressions, but the end result is that most victims of this disease must work through both pain and the knowledge that at times they are going to be fighting for control of their own bodies.
Medical research is expensive, and I know many of you must be thinking, "How can my $10 make a difference?". In and of itself, one ten dollar bill can only do so much, but together, they can do some amazing things. Last year Claudia raised almost $40,000 for her ride. That kind of money can help to support a graduate student's stipend for two years, or can cover most of the cost of a post-doctoral researcher's salary for one year. It can buy almost half of a lower throughput sequencing machine. It could cover the cost of developing a genetically modified mouse that could be used to study MS or could maintain a small "clean" mouse colony for a year or more to help study the progression of disease and possible interventions. It could make it possible for 20 researchers to travel to a conference where they can share the results of their research and maybe help to catalyze the next big advance in the science and understanding of the disease. I saw the value of this money first hand when I was in the laboratory and people received grants and fellowships from the MS Society and organizations like it. There are so many ways that this money gets put to good use!
I think so many people think that only big government research grants can make a difference when it comes to tackling big disease issues, but the truth is that smaller communities of people really can make a difference with contributions to efficiently run organizations like the MS Society.
This year, I definitely was the beneficiary of some good karma when I went to Boston. I plan to make a contribution to Claudia's fundraising efforts for the MS Society in honor of her dedication to doing a good thing to help others and with thoughts of the people who did a good thing to help me in mind. If you have the resources to consider contributing to this cause, I hope you'll get on board and help work towards fighting a disease that affects so many of our fellow travelers.
