Personal: February 2006 Archives
I was planning on writing about my progress on the Pearl Buck Swing Jacket or on my Dragon Scale socks. But as Isat down at the computer, I realized that I wasn't really feeling like talking about sweaters or socks or spinning or anything else fibery. What I've been thinking about all day is a cat with a serious problem and what we're going to do to deal about it.
I'd like to say thank you in the warmest possible way to everyone who left good wishes for Sydney. He can't really appreciate them, but I do. It is the nicest feeling there is to have a troubling situation and to have people that I have only talked to through email or met through their blog journaling taking the time to leave me a comment. Whenever I get down about unpleasant people, I try to think about the great vibes that I get from people who read my blog and it reminds me that there are going to be some people that suck, but there are many more good people out there.
The rest of this post is not going to be very happy, and will include no knitting. So you might want to click away now if either of these things seems offputting.
Unfortunately, all the good wishes in the world are not going to do much for Sydney. On Saturday morning we noticed he was weak, and not using his litter box when he had to urinate. So John found a vet that was open on Saturday afternoon (more of a challenge than you'd think!). The vet didn't have a very positive outlook on Syd's likely prognosis, but he drew some blood and did a blood work up. We got the results yesterday and the not very positive outlook became a pretty much negative outlook. And like most pet owners, we didn't really want to believe that things could be so bad for our cat. He's only 11 years old and his littermate is completely healthy.
So we had the results faxed to our "regular" vet and set up an appointment for all three cats this morning (we figured if we were going to take one in, we'd take them all, especially since the first vet had raised the specter of FIP). We enjoyed talking to the second vet better, but the prognosis was pretty much the same. Syd's kidney's are failing. In fact, his creatine levels are so high, he probably has lost more than 75% of his kidney function. Not only that, but his phosphorus levels are high (not good for the blood and also a bad prognosis indicator) and he's pretty anemic. Which means that his kidneys also aren't making the erythropoeitin (if you've heard of the drug "epogen" it's the same thing) that they need to to stimulate his bone marrow to make more red blood cells. Another very bad sign Especially when coupled with the fact that he is eating and drinking very little and spends most of his day curled up in a basket in the hallway just shutting out the world.
The options for treatment are limited. We could have left him with the vet to keep him on IV fluids for a couple of days to see if things got better. But that would mean that he would be all alone. When he came home, it would also mean that we would have to do daily sub-cutaneous fluid administration. To deal with the phosphorus, we would have to add a phosphorus binder to his food. And if his red blood cell count didn't go up, then we would also have the option of getting him treated with epogen. All this, and it's still likely that the time he would have left would be measured in weeks. And Syd has never been very good about treatments of any kind, unless he's sick. So giving him IV fluids everyday would probably be miserable for him and for John and I. If he was feeling good, we'd practically have to sit on him everyday for the rest of his life to do it. If he was feeling bad, then we'd just be prolonging his life in pretty miserable state.
The reality is, there are no good options. We can go through a lot of costly and low quality of life treatments to sustain his life for maybe a couple more weeks to months. Or we can let him fade until he simply isn't eating anything anymore and then take him in to be euthanized. Or we can do some portion of the possible treatments. There's no right answer and there's no clear path.
He's clearly not acting like himself, our other two cats almost act like he is not here anymore. This is particularly disturbing when you know that he and Mercutio are usually almost inseparable. But now Mercutio has abandoned him. It feels so tragic and sad. John and I both believe that you extend life when you know that there can be a good quality to that life. But how to judge what that is? I being a breathing lump in a basket represent good life quality if he is not in pain? It's certainly not good for his human companions.
In the end, we opted to have the vet give him some sub-cu fluids (the first vet did this on Saturday as well) so that we could see if that would help him perk up. He was remarkably active and aware while we were at the vet and we weren't really ready to make any more dramatic decisions. I guess neither of us wanted him to be in a small cage in an animal hospital for two days, sick and in unfamiliar surroundings. I think that means that John and I have come to terms with the fact that no amount of wishful thinking will make this small furry person better. But we still haven't really come to terms with the ultimate decision to be made. How much is too much? How much is not enough? When should a good life end with a good death?
Perhaps I will spin for a while and meditate a bit.
On Saturday, Julie and I got together to do a little shopping, a little spinning, a little eating and a lot of talking. But the highlight for me was receiving a special gift from Julie for my birthday.
As I had been pinning down my pieces of the Pearl Buck jacket, I had been thinking how much easier it would be if I had a big pin cushion and the pin heads were sticking straight up instead of being in the bowl container I keep them in. I often get poked reaching into that bowl or get a pin in the opposite orientation that I need it in. My problems are now solved by Julie's fabulous pin cushion, which is of impressive size -- probably 3 inches tall and at least 4 inches in diameter, there's room for a small army of pins. She's weighted the bottom so it won't roll over and it's stuffed with some leftover roving from a trip to the Fold. Of course, my favorite part is the hand-embroidered initial on the top of the cushion done in a Celtic font. And how could you not like the knitting themed button pins that she found to put on as an accent? It makes me happy just to have it on my desk!
The other highlight of the afternoon was digging into some wonderful washed fleece that Liz sent along for us to fondle and spin with. We started working with just a little bit of the CVM and our improvised "carders" (dog slickers) and got enough so that Julie could spin a little bit of it on her drop spindle. This stuff was so awesome! Not only was it soft and a treat to handle, but when spun, it had this incredible elasticity. And the color was an incredible semi-sweet chocolate brown. Really beautiful stuff. My next mission is to look and see if I can find a small fiber preparer that can take this lovely stuff and turn it into roving. One thing Julie and I discovered while working with it is that our carding skills aren't really up to the challenge at this point. So I'm going to see if I can find someone who can give us a little help getting us a long our way. If anyone has any suggestions for companies that will process small amounts of fiber and do a good job, I'd love to hear about it!
And to anyone interested, I have posted a short review of the Yarn Harlot's most recent book over on Two Friends Collect Books. I've been a little lax in my posting over there but I hope to get going again with my reviews -- which will also include some non-knitting books.
Yesterday did not turn out to be a day that involved much knitting. It did turn out to be a day that involved a bit of computer babysitting and some excellent Belgian ale. So excellent that it required another attempt with the phone camera, even though people do tend to look at you funny when you are taking pictures of beer.
But now that I have set the dangerous precedent of phone food photography, you can bet that there will likely be more. Because really, I have to say, I enjoy eating out in Chicago almost more than I like pursuing the fiber arts. Chicago is a most excellent food town.
But, as I mentioned, there was not much knitting to show for the day. Oh, I did try to knit after that nice Belgian beer, but it resulted in dropped stitches and ripping back a Dragon sock and playing with size 0000 needles to get everything back in order. Clearly, I was not meant to make any knitting progress yesterday. Sometimes a girl has to listen when the powers that be are telling her to abandon certain activities.
I've gotten a few neat things in the mail lately, though, and this seems a good time to share them.
I am probably the last person to go out and join Debbie Bliss' club , I resisted last year, but when I discovered the free knitting kit involved her Casmerino Astrakan, I decided that this was a good time to subscribe. I've seen a few folks blogging about it, and it just seemed like really nifty stuff. This kit is the perfect entry into playing with a new yarn, I think -- how can I go wrong with two skeins of yarn. And I know it's enough yarn for at least one project. This yarn is not entirely my color (being a bit of a yellowy green) but I might be willing to ignore that fact to make the scarf. The Astrakan is very soft and has a really lovely texture in the skein. Not sure when I will actually knit it -- probably when I'm travelling and need a small project -- but I'm sure I'll enjoy it when the time comes
I consider myself just a little bit lucky to have happened upon the Knitterly Things Etsy Shop just in time to be able to pick up a skein of Julia's lovely hand-dyed self-striping sock yarn. I first learned about it when Monica over at passionknit blogged about her new sock yarn obsession (be sure to go to the bottom of the post and click on the links to see some lovely socks made in this yarn). Since I, too, feel sated with my level of Socks that Rock (and I feel safe in the knowledge that if I really need any, it's not too hard for me to get out to Marengo to get some), it seemed like a good time to join Monica in her Vesper obsession. Now that I have the yarn in my hot little hands, I am not disappointed. The colors are lovely you can click here for a closeup (even if my camera wants to oversaturate the reds) and are such a flashback to my preppy '80's high school years, how could I resist?
LIke I've said so many times before, a girl can never have too much sock yarn.
I have to admit that I don't get to read as many blogs as I would like to. But in the past weeks or so, I've noticed here and there people talking about the etiquette of posting pictures of gifts received, goodies from trades or yarns and tools purchased for one's self. It seems that some folks think "flashing your stash" is a breach of good behavior and/or a sign of uninspired blogging. Others feel left out when reading the blogs of people who receive gifts from friends or other bloggers. I try to stay off my soap box most of the time, but this is one case that touched a nerve and where I would like to share my thoughts (in other words, this post is going to get really long, so you may want to stop now, should this subject not interest you).
First off, let me just say that yes, you're seeing pictures of yarn today because I do lack a bit of inspiration, and I certainly lack any exciting knitting or spinning to show. I won't dispute that. It happens some times. As much as I would love to be able to show off the creative works of my hands everyday, it doesn't always work out. So then I try to look around my life and my fiber pursuits and see if there is something else interesting to talk about. A new yarn, a new tool, a book perhaps. I absolutely love finding out about new things -- if others didn't do a little "showing off" then I might never find out about some things that are really useful or lovely. I'm all about using Google to find things that interest me, but there's nothing quite like finding out about something new and then getting some helpful opinions about both the product and the vendor. And I like to think that periodically, when I'm showing off something new to my little treasure trove of fibery goodies, I might provide some useful information to someone else. Generally, I tend to only post about the things I like (life is too short to spend too much time focusing on the negative), but I will try to be balanced in what I say.
I look at gifts and trades in more or less the same way, but with an added twist. As with things that I might buy for myself, I like to share if I think there is something interesting about what I received. But I also like to post about them for other reasons. First off, gratitude. No matter how many times I trade with people, no matter how many times I receive a thoughtful gift, I am always really touched that someone took the time to do something nice for me. And I almost always want to try to share that feeling. I've never found a group of people as thoughtful as fiber folks when it comes to this kind of thing. Secondly, I like to let whomever I got the trade or gift from that their gift arrived. I know I could just send email, but I like the blog medium. I like making that journal entry and taking the pictures and sharing a public thank-you -- it might soudn strange, but that part is a lot of fun for me, and makes the items received doubly enjoyable.
But, that said, it's still easy for me to see how this sort of thing might make others feel left out. Growing up, I almost always felt like I was the unpopular kid that no one wanted to do anything with. It took me a long time to realize that if you want to be part of a group, you've got to put yourself out there a little bit, too. And believe me, I know (man, do I know), that can be really hard. But in the knit blog world, I think there's definitely plenty of ways to get involved and there are so many remarkable and friendly people to meet. Like someone's work or want to encourage someone? Leave 'em a comment on their blog. I've had some great email dialogs and friendships develop this way. Fall in love with a yarn that's hard to get where you are? Perhaps you could ask the blogger that posted about it if they would be willing to try a little trade -- but try not to feel hurt if its not the right thing for that person at the time. Got stash of your own that you think would be happier somewhere else? Offer to trade with others. Maybe you're stash poor but time rich? Host a knit along or share a knitting design or start a knitting group in your local area. Be genuine, be willing to exert some effort, and you'll be surprised what develops over time. After almost 4 years of blogging, I know I still am!
It was a very good day here in Chi-town for this knitting biologist. How can it not be when it starts with this:
Isn't he the sweetest? My desk definitely smells pleasantly of roses right now. Call me a traditionalist, but I do love roses, the deep red ones, in particular.
Then, as if winter was falling in love with the idea of spring, we had 60 degree weather and sunshine here in Chicago today. That's almost unheard of in February. It made for a perfect early afternoon trip downtown to pick up a few little goodies for John (a bright red cyclamen for his desk and some yummy chocolates from Ethel M) before meeting him for lunch. John works in the Prudential building just across the street from Millenium Park, so for lunch, we strolled over to the Park Grill. Apologies to Claudia for not taking a picure of the lovely chocolate dessert we had. I must have been too busy watching the skaters on the outdoor ice rink outside the restaurant.
After I got back home, I made a short trip to the post office. Gale, a very kind reader who was de-stashing from her knitting book library when I mentioned my interest in Teddy Bears, sent me Debbie Bliss' Teddy Bears and Toy Knits books as well as Alice Starmore's Fisherman's Knits. There are such wonderful things in the Debbie Bliss books. I just love the knitted garments that go along with some of the bears and other animals.
After knitting the next pattern repeat on the Dragon sock (bringing me up to three repeats on the second sock), and inspired by the Teddy Bear book, I also did a little spinning. Not worth a picture (it's the white wool/silk I got from my parents for Christmas) but it was a nice way to relax and enjoy the evening before getting ready to go to Scylla, a Bucktown restaurant both John and I very much enjoy. I was hoping to have pictures, but the light levels were just too low for the camera on my Moto RAZR phone to do the food justice -- it was all good, especially the crab and basil "cheese cake" which featured a layer of lump crab combined with marscapone cheese and seasoned with lemon and basil. Dessert was excellent as well. It was a frozen chocolate mousse with frozen strawberries and champagne gel paired with a flourless chocolate cake, chocolate glaze and brandied cherries. Yum! And it went very well with the rose champagne we were having.
After 9 years of Valentine's Days, John still manages to surprise me with his thoughtfulness -- he really has to think ahead to do the sweet things he does.. Sometimes I think that there is one thing that guys just don't understand about women and Valentine's day. It's really not about how much money you spend, it's about how much thought you put into making it a special day. Of course, it's hard not to like being showered with gifts, but the in my book the greatest gift of all is knowing that someone took the time to do something special because they wanted to make you happy. You just can't knit enough socks for a guy who puts his heart into making you happy.
